Does Outside Sweat Weigh More?

Does Outdoor Sweat Weigh More?  Another odd look into fitness, health, and the way my body works...Today has probably been the most gorgeous day Maine has seen in 2016, Modern Philosophers.

The temperature is somewhere in the 80s, the sun is shining, and there’s a gentle breeze.  Spring has definitely arrived in the Land Snow Miser Would Not Relinquish, and it appears we have seen the last of the Snowmen for some time.

On a day this beautiful, it totally makes sense that I went to the gym to get in my cardio, right?

I know, you’re probably forming Deep Thoughts as to why I didn’t take advantage of the weather and run outside.

I asked myself the same thing, but conversations with myself usually end in a stalemate as I am incredibly stubborn and refuse to back down once I’ve made up my mind.

There must have been a reason I selected a morning inside at the gym rather than outside on the mean streets of my neighborhood, but logic rarely gets called into play when it comes to my fitness program.

Truth be told, I was just happy that I was eager to exercise, so I didn’t really question why I’d want to be indoors when Mother Nature had made the outside world so awesome.  I hadn’t done anything wellness related all week because I’d gone to work early every day to put in some overtime.

Any workout was acceptable at this point.  I needed a good sweat!

What? Doesn't everyone keep a team of scientists on standby down in the basement?I keep a team of old school scientists in lab coats on standby in case I ever have a science related question for the blog.

The brainiacs maintain a lab in the basement bunker of The House on the Hill.  Sometimes, they try to leave the lab and come up into the main part of the house.  The interns have strict instructions to discourage such behavior, and they know to send the eggheads scurrying back into the cellar anytime they try to rejoin the rest of society.

Don’t look at me like that, Modern Philosophers.  For the amount of money I pay those scientists, they should be thrilled to live underground like mole people.

Anyhow, I asked the lab coat posse if it was possible that outdoor sweat weighed more than indoor sweat.  When they collectively shot me a look of utter confusion, I clarified that I was looking for a reason that it might be more beneficial to sweat outside rather than inside, or vice versa.

They formed a nerd huddle, chatted it up for a few minutes, and then Dr. Nolan Twomey, King of the Basement Brains, told me it was his team’s theory that sweating indoors might actually be healthier.

The logic behind that conclusion being that it’s easier to sweat outside when the temperature is high and the sun is intense.  Sweating indoors is more of a challenge since there is likely air conditioning involved.  Plus, people are vain and have a natural instinct to not want to sweat in front of others, so in a crowded gym, it would really take an effort to open up those sweat glands and let the juices flow.

Look...it's me...sweating in the gym on a gorgeous Spring day!Now I’m no big brained lab coat wearer, but I do wear a toga and form Deep Thoughts on a consistent basis.  Those credentials having been explained, I’m going to say that I agree with the Nerd Herd’s Deep Thoughts.

As a result, I’m convinced that it was an excellent decision on my part to go to the gym, put in an intense bike workout, and sweat like an animal with a glandular problem.

I am by no means a men’s health expert, but I am a guy who is out of shape and looking to recapture the trim, athletic form I only wish I had in my twenties.

What I’m trying to say, Modern Philosophers, is Just Sweat.  It doesn’t matter where you do it, how you make it happen, or how offensive you smell after you’re done.

Just do something to remind your body who’s boss.  When you’re in your early nineties and still on the good side of a coffin, you’ll be thankful you took this advice!

Yes, I am this wise all the time.  Follow me on Pinterest and learn more!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Does Outside Sweat Weigh More?

  1. Awesome post! Yes I am following you and reposting!

  2. Pingback: Does Outside Sweat Weigh More? – wandasncredible

  3. The Cutter says:

    I’m glad somebody’s getting nice weather, because down in Maryland, it’s all rain, all the time

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