The Hopeless Romantic in me wants you all to find true love, Modern Philosophers. That’s why I write my Dating Tips posts. Love can be so difficult to find, and even when you do spot it out there in the wild, it’s almost impossible to corral it, break it, and get it to stay with you forever.
Even though my Dating Tips posts are working and making your romantic lives exponentially better, I still don’t feel like I’m doing enough.
If I’m ever going to be Cupid in a Toga, then I need to expand my services beyond sage and hilarious advice.
That’s right, Modern Philosophers, I’m going to find you love the best way possible in this age of technology. I’m starting an online dating site!
Must Love Togas is the official online dating site of the Modern Philosopher, and the only dating site on the internet that is powered by Deep Thoughts, Philosophy, and a little Maine Magic.
When you sign up for the site, before you mess up your chances of finding true love by uploading the worst possible pic and a poorly written profile, you must first complete an extensive questionnaire.
If you generate enough Deep Thoughts to answer the questions honestly, my staff will be best able to find you the love of your life.
Yes, Must Love Togas is the only online dating site that requires a 500 word essay from all of its members, but that’s not even the site’s best feature.
Once you have completed your questionnaire and submitted your mandatory rewrite of your enrollment essay (yes, I read every essay and return it with notes and corrections!), you will be classified as one of Maine’s magnificent Otherworldly Beings.
After you’ve been categorized, the site’s helpful staff will explain which groups of OWB would make the best match for you.
Must Love Togas does not allow members to post any photos.
You read that correctly, Modern Philosophers! We’re looking to make a deeper connection on our site. Way too much emphasis is put on looks, which is ridiculous since we all know that looks fade.
At Must Love Togas, we know that a lasting love depends on how well a couple is able to communicate, a similarity in writing styles, and a deep philosophical kinship, which everyone will acknowledge is much sexier than any amount of physical attraction.
Our Philosophy at Must Love Togas is simple: Eternal love works best if you marry the person you want to talk to every day for the rest of your life.
Of course, if you don’t trust my Deep Thoughts on love, your questionnaire answers, or the romantic powers of a well-written essay, there’s always a little magic.
As you know, The House on Hill is frequented by Maine’s most beloved Otherworldly Beings.
When you join the Must Love Togas dating community, you will be assigned an Online Otherworldly Buddy. If you’re lucky, that pal, who will act as your personal Ambassador of Love, Deep Thoughts, and Communication Skills, could be a Witch, who would know a thing or two about conjuring up a Love Potion. It could also be a Vampire, who might teach you how to drain every last bit of romance out of a situation. Maybe it will be a Werewolf who will help you to unleash your inner sexy beast.
No other online dating site can promise you anything like this, Modern Philosophers. And it’s all yours for a mere $15 a month!
Come on, I’ve been giving you free blog posts and romantic advice for three and a half years. It’s finally time to monetize this blog.
If you’re ready to find that groovy, philosophical kind of love, join today!
As a bonus gift for joining the site, you get to follow me on Pinterest for free!