Giving A Wedgie To My Inner Superhero

Giving A Wedgie To My Inner SuperheroHave you ever had one of those moments, Modern Philosophers, when you’re so exhausted that you can’t make it from the car to the house and almost fall asleep in the comfy chair on your front porch?

I just had that very experience, and I’d probably be snoring away out on the porch if it hadn’t been so chilly out there.

Why am I so fatigued on Sunday, which according to the mean Nuns who scared me to death in grammar school, is a God mandated Day of Rest?

I thought I’d unleash my Inner Superhero and go into work today to do a little overtime.

Okay, let me clarify that.  My boring, everyday desk job does not require me to be a Superhero, but I am trying to move worlds, drain oceans, and bend society as a whole to my will lately, and for all those Herculean tasks, I require the assistance of my inner Caped Crusader.  Or whatever other Superhero resides deep down inside me, beneath the ingenious disguise of my toga and glasses.

Working overtime today was part of that overall plan to set up a new world order, and while the mind and bank accounts were more than willing to comply, my body wasn’t exactly on board with the plan.

Even though we live in a society with electricity and pretty awesome technology, I’ve still been obsessively Amish about it all lately and burning my candle at both ends.  There’s a lot going on in my world right now, and I feel a bit powerless.

Have you ever wanted something so badly, Modern Philosophers, that you’d do absolutely anything to make it happen, but you can’t just snap your fingers and make it so because of rules, legalities, society, politics, laws of physics, and science’s inability to create a working teleporter or flying car?

Supergirl, I don't need your looks, but I could use your superpowersright now!At the moment, I wish I were a Superhero, despite my aversion to spandex and capes, because I feel like I need superpowers to make my dream a reality.

It’s not like I want something so out of the realm of reality that I need to able to fly, melt metal with my eyes, or move mountains with my super strength.

However, those abilities would come in extremely handy considering the flaming hoops that need to be jumped through as part of the process.

I keep reminding myself that I can do anything I set me mind to.  Even if that means ending a sentence in a preposition.

I might not have superpowers, but I have the power to do super things.

And I will accomplish what I have set out to do.  Luckily for me, I have a very capable partner in crime to help shoulder the burden.

I’m going to take a nap now.  I really needed to get that off my chest.  I’m just going to curl up here on the couch, wrap myself in my cape, and dream about the super happy ending to this current misadventure!

If you can follow what I’m talking about in this post, then maybe you’re a superhero and you should definitely follow me on Pinterest!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Giving A Wedgie To My Inner Superhero

  1. Joseph Nebus says:

    You know, anyone can dress in spandex and a cape. It just requires, for the first part, raiding the Sports Authority clearance sales and, for the second, wrapping a towel around your shoulders. It’s having the right superpowers that’s the trick. Like, you definitely want things that involve being able to move objects with your mind. You can probably pass on “always has tickets for the Goodwill Games”, since they haven’t been held in a long time and probably never will be again.

  2. Laidig says:

    “There’s a lot going on in my world right now, and I feel a bit powerless” – preach. Lots to do, not enough time or people power, feel overwhelmed, rinse and repeat. I do, however, have a purple cape. I can lend it at the weekends?

  3. Sheila Moss says:

    “move worlds, drain oceans, and bend society” No wonder you need a nap!

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