That, of course, was triggered by Bernie Sanders’ failure to win the California Primary and Hillary Clinton’s claim that she had clinched the Democratic nomination.
My head was so overloaded with Deep Thoughts on this one that I thought it was going to explode like a Death Star that had been storing confiscated Jawa fireworks.
I had searched my feelings a long time ago (but not in a galaxy far, far away), back when Jeb! Bush, Marco (Polo) Rubio, and Ted (Boos) Cruz were still in the hunt, and had come to the conclusion that the Force was strong with Bernie Sanders.
Now that Bernie, who I liked to refer to as “Angry Obi Wan” is essentially out of the race, I am not a fan of my remaining choices.
Someone will be the next President of the United States whether or not I cast a vote, but I refuse to be left out of the process on Election Day.
I’m leaning towards continuing to Feel the Bern, and writing in my chosen candidate, but I know people will say that’s a wasted vote. I would argue that every vote counts if it is cast with the citizen’s true wishes in mind.
Then again, I’m so frightened of Future President Trump that I’ve started to have nightmares about his moving into that creepy old white house on Pennsylvania Avenue that some say is haunted by the ghost of Abe Lincoln.
But would President Clinton II really be any better? Everyone knows the sequel never tops the original.
And in this case, Clinton I: A New Dope was no award winner.
So as I do whenever I have a difficult decision to make and there isn’t a quarter handy for a coin flip, I turned to Star Wars for guidance.
I asked myself: Would Trump strike down Obi Wan?
If Darth Trump would kill everyone’s favorite old man this side of Bernie Sanders, then that means he’s ready to be the Emperor’s right hand man and put up border walls all over the galaxy.
Truth be told, I don’t think Mexico has a GNP large enough to pay for so many walls.
A man as inexperienced with politics as the Billionaire Buffoon needs someone like Obi Wan on his Cabinet to advise him, explain Trade Federations and tariff agreements, and use the Jedi Mind Trick on Vladimir Putin.
If Trump were to just nod politely to Obi Wan and not pull out his lightsaber and get all “The circle is now complete” on him, I’d have to consider that Trump might be the candidate I was looking for.
I say that only because it would show that Trump has at least some common sense. You know, just enough to realize he shouldn’t kill someone who could end up being a powerful ally, or to not set up a private email server for Top Secret government emails.
Of course, in the end, I’ll probably just flee to Endor to chill with the Ewoks for four years until there’s a non-Dark Side candidate on the ballot on Election Day.
I hear the forests there are quite peaceful now that the artificial moon that once orbited the planet is long gone…
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