In a move that some are laughing off as a publicity stunt, and others are applauding as a shrewd piece of political maneuvering, the Trump campaign today announced that it has been vetting Santa Claus as a possible Vice Presidential candidate, Modern Philosophers.
While it is normal for Presidential candidates to vet several potential running mates ahead of the national convention, Santa Claus is the only person that the Republican front runner has publicly acknowledged as being under consideration.
“I’ve known Nick for a long time,” Trump told reporters at a campaign stop earlier today. “While I haven’t always agreed with his decisions regarding me and the Naughty List, I still count him as a dear friend. Let’s face it, his popularity is huge. He’s almost as famous as me!”
It is true that Santa Claus is extremely popular with Americans of all races, creeds, and economic standing, but his core following is under the voting age, which won’t do Trump much good at the polls.
Or will it?
“Children have a great deal of influence over their parents,” one political pundit explained to this Modern Philosopher. “If they hound them enough about wanting something, they will inevitably get it. That’s why Christmas is so good for the economy. If kids decide they want Santa Claus for Vice President this year, they will get it. Even if it means their parents have to deal with Donald Trump as President.”
It is very difficult to argue with such logic, Modern Philosophers, and it makes me think that Trump is finally doing something right. Is it an early Christmas miracle?
“I was looking forward to debating Donald on the issues,” Clinton said in a prepared statement. “This seems like a desperate stunt that belongs in sweeps weeks of one of his reality shows rather than in the thick of a Presidential Election.”
To be honest, Modern Philosophers, if you had asked me three months ago which party was going to have someone who asked you to sit on his lap and tell him what you wanted for Christmas, I would’ve guessed the Democrats and Bill Clinton.
That’s the thing about Trump. He’s always surprising me.
“A lot of Americans were willing to vote for an angry old man in this election, and now that Bernie is no longer an option, I’m willing to bet that even more will cast their votes for jolly old St. Nick,” I heard Trump exclaim as he walked out of sight.
It is a smart move, no matter how you look at it, Modern Philosophers. Santa Claus definitely softens Trump’s image, he offers name recognition even greater than Trump’s, no one wants to vote against Santa and risk landing on the Naughty List, and St. Nick’s presence on the ticket will lock up the Christian vote.
The question now is: Does Santa Claus coming to town guarantee that Donald Trump will be celebrating Christmas in the White House? Only time will tell…
What do you think of Santa Claus as Trump’s running mate? Would you vote for Trump if St. Nick were on the ticket? Would you worry that Santa’s VP obligations would ruin Christmas? Would Trump being President just ruin Christmas regardless?
If you don’t want to be on the Naughty List, you’d better follow me on Pinterest!