What Horror Movie Could You Survive?

horror movies, movies, Freddy, Jason, Scream, Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Saw, Blair WitchIt’s Friday night of what has felt like the longest two week period of my life, Modern Philosophers!

I’ve worked 105 hours over the last twelve days, and I am absolutely exhausted.  All I want to do is curl up on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and watch a good movie.

Of course, since it’s Friday night, I am contractually bound to spend some time in the Think Tank.  So why don’t we just make a movie night out of it?

It’s Summer, it’s unbelievably hot, and this is Maine, so who knows what could be lurking out there in the dark?

Let’s all hang out in the Think Tank where there’s safety in numbers and no one or nothing can ever get to us.  Right?

Wait…what was that?  Did you hear that?

And where’s Claire?  She was just standing there by the door a second ago!!!

This week’s question: What horror movie do you think you could survive if you somehow found yourself a part of the action?

Friday the 13thI love this question, Modern Philosophers!

I am a horror movie freak, and I love writing them as much as I do watching them.

Coming up with the scary moments is just as much fun as falling victim to them.

I don’t think I’d venture anywhere near Camp Crystal Lake and the Friday the 13th series.  Even though I was a Boy Scout, that was a long time ago, so my camping skills aren’t exactly top notch.  In other words, I wouldn’t fare too well out in the wilderness even without a machete wielding maniac in a hockey mask chasing me.

Those woods are Jason’s home turf, and his home field advantage would be way too much for me to overcome.  No weekend camping trips for me!

A Nightmare on Elm Street is another pass.  My nightmares are freaky enough as it is.  Just this morning I woke up in a cold sweat because I was sure someone was in my room trying to kill me.  If that stranger had been Freddy Krueger, I don’t believe I’d be alive to write this Friday Night Think Tank post.

The Saw flicks?  No @#$%^&* way!  I can’t figure out puzzles with no pressure involved.

Blair Witch?  Again, just say no to the creepy outdoors!

Mike Meyers.  Not the Wayne's World one...The Halloween flicks look promising.  You’d only have to survive one night, but Michael Myers is an unstoppable killing machine.

When you factor in how sluggish I’d be from eating all that Halloween candy, I’d say that I’d never live to see All Saints Day.

Now that I’ve established I’d never risk my life against the Holy Trinity of Horror Monsters from my youth, I’m going to climb out on a very weak limb overlooking a lake of blood and boldly say I’d visit a movie that heavily influenced the screenplay that got me “discovered” in Hollywood.

Woodsboro seems like a delightful town to visit, and the Ghostface Killer was always so obsessed with Sidney Prescott.  That is why I’d hang out in Scream, and just make sure I never got too close to Sidney.

A couple of horny, dimwitted teenagers with a voice modulator, big knife, and the surprise of the “there are two killers!” twist wouldn’t be that difficult for a Modern Philosopher to outwit.  Wouldn’t you agree?

Plus, there were so many other intriguing characters to slice, dice, slaughter, and disembowel.  This is a time when being average and boring definitely comes in very handy!

So what horror movie would you try to survive?   Good luck up there on the big screen.  I’ll be right back…

Follow me on Pinterest, you horror movie survivor!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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6 Responses to What Horror Movie Could You Survive?

  1. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil or Carnival of Souls. 🙂

  2. Gilly says:

    Oh that’s easy. The Exorcist of course. Not!!!!!!!!

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