Does America Need A Monarchy?

politics, philosophy, democracy, humor, Trump, Clinton, philosophy, Modern Philosopher, 2016 Presidential ElectionWhen I clocked out at 5:00 today, Modern Philosophers, I put an end to a three week stretch during which I worked a whopping 158 hours.

I am thrilled that it’s Friday night because I really need the vacation that officially began the second I stepped away from the time clock.

I’m also pumped because it’s time for the Friday Night Think Tank!

I’m not sure how much I’ll be blogging during my vacation, so please don’t get worried if I disappear for two weeks.

The interns are always around to keep an eye on me, and Gary the Gargoyle is forever stationed on the roof of The House on the Hill to make sure no harm comes my way.

Are you ready to hang out in the Think Tank and get the Deep Thoughts flowing?

This week’s topic: Given our choices in the 2016 Presidential Election, do you think America should abandon Democracy for a Monarchy?

Trump, Clinton, politics, humor, philosophy, Modern PhilosopherAs a comedy writer, I’m thrilled with the candidates Democracy has produced in this year’s Presidential race.

As an American, however, I’m not at all impressed.

How are Trump and Clinton the best our political system has to offer?

Trump is making a mockery of human decency on a daily basis, and Clinton might very well be a robot sent by The Machines to kick off The Robot Apocalypse.

So if we, the Americans willing to vote in the Presidential Primaries, aren’t intelligent enough to push a better pair of Oval Office wannabees to the top of the political dog pile, maybe we deserve to have the choice of leader taken from us.

I’m well aware that our forefathers fled home, colonized a new world, and fought a war in order to get out from under the thumb of a Monarchy, but perhaps we need a new Royal Family to take the reins.

Sure, there’s always some madness in the Royals since they tend to all be related even before they marry each other, but they can’t be any worse than Donald Trump, right?

Friday Night Think Tank |The Return of the Modern PhilosopherPlus, in a monarchy, you don’t have to wait for the next election or the slow moving impeachment process to get rid of a ruler who isn’t quite working out the way you hoped.  Someone in the family simply plots an assassination and the next ruler takes the throne.

It’s a much simpler and more entertaining process.

Think Game of Thrones at The White House.

Actually, we’d have to change the name to The White Castle if there was a King or Queen on the throne in the Oval Office, don’t you agree?

That might be a little confusing, but given this nation’s problem with obesity and obsession with fast food, having a leader in The White Castle would make perfect sense.

Look at our good friends over in merry, ole England.  They switched out a Monarchy with Democracy, but still kept the Royal Family around for shits, giggles, and the occasional Royal Wedding.

Now that Democracy has led to Brexit, how long do you think it’s going to be before Queen Elizabeth has the Prime Minister beheaded and comes out of political retirement to lead Britain with a well manicured iron fist?

Kate Middleton is way hotter than any of Trump's wives!You know it’s about to happen.  So why not try it here, too?  If we pick the right family to lead the way, we’ll never again have to worry about the ridiculous primary process and the potential of President Trump.

Or worse yet, President Trump declaring himself King Donald and ruling over this nation indefinitely.

All that I’m saying is give Monarchy a chance…

So what do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Has Democracy run its course in America?  Is it time to replace the President with a King or Queen?

While we still have the right to vote, choose to follow me on Pinterest…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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4 Responses to Does America Need A Monarchy?

  1. I would *love* to be Queen, thank you for asking!

  2. eurobrat says:

    Hmmmm, good question. I like Hillary, but then again a monarchy might save us from getting barraged with the reality TV show known as the American election every four years. Decisions, decisions….

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