All Hail, King Klutz!

humor, fitness, walking, injury, awkward, klutz, Modern PhilosopherThis just in from the blog’s Too Stupid Not To Be True Department, Modern Philosophers:

I managed to injury myself while walking to the library.

I survived 3 mile runs on Saturday and Sunday, after finally recovering from a leg injury, and decided to take today off from running so as not to overdo it.

You know, because I didn’t want to re-injure my leg.

It was a gorgeous day and I’d just finished reading The Long Walk by Stephen King, so I thought I’d take a short walk over to the library to return it.

I crossed the street and wasn’t more than twenty feet from The House on the Hill when I adroitly, and I use that word sarcastically, jumped from the street onto the sidewalk.

Why I decided to leap rather than simply step up onto the sidewalk is beyond me.  Perhaps I was feeling adventurous since I was on vacation.  Maybe I was feeling more athletic now that I was running again.

Or maybe I just do stupid things like this all the time for no reason.

Bottom line, I landed awkwardly on the sidewalk and rolled my left ankle.  This, of course, being the joint connecting my giant monkey boy foot to the leg that I had recently injured.

Bravo!

The notoriously tough Olympic judges took off major points for my awkward landing, and it looks like I won’t be standing on the medal platform this year, Modern Philosophers.

Which is a good thing because I’d probably fall off of it.

Now my ankle didn’t feel that bad on the walk to and from the library, where I picked up a novel about World War II.  I love books about World War II!

It barely bothered me all afternoon, either.

running, fitness, exercise, health, humor, Modern PhilosopherJust a little while ago, however, I was out on the porch writing, and had my legs on the porch rail.  That was when I realized that my foot and ankle were throbbing.

I had to hobble back into the house because I could barely put any weight on my foot, and there’s a lot of weight on this tall, out of shape frame.

How clumsy am I?  Who gets hurt while out for a walk?

I could understand if I had tripped over my toga because I do that sort of thing all the time, but I jumped a foot in the air and couldn’t stick the landing.

I’ve been icing my foot and keeping it elevated.  Hopefully, I won’t sustain any more injuries while sitting on my couch and watching TV.

Of course, I wouldn’t rule it out because this is King Klutz we’re talking about here.

Long live the King.  Just keep a medical crew on hand at all times…

I know this is awkward, but could you follow me on Pinterest?  You know, so that you can help me up if I trip again…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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4 Responses to All Hail, King Klutz!

  1. Jennifer says:

    Try not to get too excited about the Olympics. Don’t want you falling off the couch in an epic beach volleyball fail.

  2. Gail says:

    No judgment here. I do stupid things like that all the time. My only question is why you like books about World War ll.

    • Austin says:

      My Dad served in the Marines during WW2, so part of the reason I like books is because they give me an idea of what life must have been like for him.

      Also, the Nazis are horrible bad guys and I love to see them crushed!

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