How do you think all these stories end up on the blog for you to enjoy? The voices shout them at me until I type them into my laptop and send them out into the internet.
It’s a pretty decent arrangement. Sure, it makes it difficult to sleep most nights, and it’s hard to focus at work, but overall, I enjoy the company.
Except for times like now when all the voices are bickering and no one voice is standing out as the dominant one. It leaves me confused, dizzy, and desperate for aspirin.
The debates currently going on in my head are crazier and far more out of control than the Republican Presidential Debates. Here are some topics being argued…
I love her with all my heart and miss her desperately vs. She broke my heart and abandoned me so I need to forget about her. This is the loudest of all the debates and the voices in my head are really divided on this one. While they all agree they miss the Sweet Irish Girl, they cannot figure out how to move forward. Should we chase after her? Beg forgiveness? Make a grand romantic gesture? Try to forget her? Start to get angry? You can imagine how rough all these opinions have been on my brain!
Health vs. Wealth. Should I keep pushing myself to work insane amounts of overtime and basically have no time in my life for anything but work? Or do I need to calm the hell down and make time to keep up my running program? Money can’t buy me love, but running isn’t going to pay for heating oil this winter, either.
Creating vs. Surviving. I got a lot of writing done over my vacation, and continue to work on the new screenplay. Progress has been stymied because I’m at work all day, but new pages are being written. Having all that time to just write reminded me how badly I want to write full time. The fact that I wrote so much over my vacation only fueled the artistic fires and the belief that I could make this dream a reality. Then the voice of reason rants and raves about how I need a steady paycheck to keep a roof over my head and food on the table.
Isolationism vs. Socializing. Some of the voices believe I’m better off keeping to myself and staying safe at The House on the Hill. I can’t get hurt again if I don’t put myself out there where people can let me down and hurt my heart. Other voices think I’m too lonely and that if I surrounded myself with people, I would be happier and not have to worry about being all alone. Love isn’t just going to knock on the door, is it?
Thinking all the time vs. Turning off my brain. It seems impossible that the voices would want me to turn them off, but some of them truly believe that this would be the best thing for my health and sanity. It’s been so long since I stopped overthinking everything and just let instinct take over. Maybe it’s time to quiet my mind and see what happens. Perhaps I should be making conversation with other people, or just enjoying the silence.
What really drives me crazy, though, is when they start doing accents. I could use some sleep tonight, so I hope and pray that they can settle down for a few hours.
Of course, without the voices in my head, life would be extremely dull…
Listen to the voices in your head telling you to follow me on Pinterest!