Man vs Tummy vs Wallet

humor, philosophy, work, money, life, Modern PhilosopherIt’s Friday night of a long weekend, Modern Philosophers, and I’m throwing open the doors of the Think Tank for a wild weekend of Deep Thoughts and relaxation.

As you know, I’ve been working an insane amount of hours lately, but it’s all part of my plan for world domination.

Today was my twelfth straight day chained to my desk, but the streak will end this weekend.

After I work just a few hours tomorrow.

I can’t help myself, Modern Philosophers.  I am constantly crunching the numbers in my head, and the larger the potential paycheck gets, the more energy I find to work just a few more hours.

I was raised by a frugal woman to respect the value of every last penny.  Because of this, I can’t walk away from the overtime hours.  I know the option to earn time and a half will disappear soon, and I don’t want to find myself wishing I had stuffed just a few more bills down my shorts before the treasure chest was locked away for good.

Is that your overtime earnings in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

With this in mind, I present the great philosophical conundrum I faced at 8AM.  By this time, I’d already worked two hours, and I had another nine and a half hours ahead of me.

If I could make it until 5:30, that would be a solid twenty hours of OT for the week, a new record for me, and a really sweet paycheck next payday.

The only problem standing between me and the execution of this awesome plan was my stomach.  At 8AM, it was emitting some very troubling gurgling noises, and there were pains that I immediately equated with imminent death.

After I found a quiet place to deal with these issues (he typed politely), the first Deep Thought to pop into my head surprised even me.

It went something like this…

If I go home now and die in my bed with some dignity, I”ll only earn eleven hours of overtime this week.  However, if I stick it out at my desk and suffer like a miserable animal all day, I’ll have twenty hours of OT on my next paycheck…

Is that sick and twisted, Modern Philosophers, or does it make perfect sense?

Honestly, if it had been just a regular work week, I would have given serious thought to going back to The House on the Hill to make use of my home facilities.  A day spent in bed, never too far from the water closet, would’ve been nice, especially when you factor in that it’s the long holiday weekend.

Friday Night Think Tank, philosophy, humor, money, Modern PhilosopherBut to go home and suffer in more comfortable surroundings would mean throwing out a nice wad of cash.

The thought of that made my stomach hurt even more.

I basically gave myself a pretty powerful pep talk, waited for the worst of the stomach cramps to pass (bad pun or just the truth?), and went back to my desk.

My stomach wasn’t calling the shots today, Modern Philosophers.

My wallet was.

And I was okay with that because I toughened up and got through the day. Hell, I even enjoyed a lovely lunch courtesy of the office potluck.

Now I’ve got some extra money to spend…if I ever have any time off to spend it.

What would you have done in this situation, Modern Philosophers?  Have you ever been faced by a similar philosophical quandary? 

Share your stories.  It’s a holiday weekend at the Think Tank and we’ve got to keep this party rolling!

Before you go to your labor Day barbecue, follow me on Pinterest!


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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10 Responses to Man vs Tummy vs Wallet

  1. At first, I thought this going to be about food and the steep expenditures of dining out. I thought my head was going to explode as I realized that tummy grumblings weren’t from hunger. Totally opposite direction! To answer your question, I probably would have gone home. At least for a bit. Then maybe have gone back. But that is me, I’m complicated like that.

  2. I once passed a kidney stone at work. It was an overtime situation and I knew I was going to need some money for the upcoming cruise. Was it worth it? Yes. It was enough to make consider giving birth at work. People do that right?

    • Austin says:

      I did leave work once when I had a kidney stone. I would never mess with that… 🙂

      • I have an insanely high pain tolerance especially if there is a Louis Vuitton store anywhere in the immediate future of over time. However, I should explain that due to having run marathons and having a child with an epidural that did not work a kidney stone was EASY. Plus, I expected it. I knew it was there and was already in a lot of pain. I will admit that I didn’t pass a large stone. There were two and I was more than happy to be on IV meds in the hospital within an hour. My sister passed a kidney stone and had s c-section in the same week. Over achiever.

  3. Fit Showgirl says:

    Oh man stomach issues are the worst, for years I didn’t know I had celiac diseas and suffered the do I go home or stay here and suffer. I always stayed and suffered. Work Ethic and paycheck always won!

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