Feed Them Tiny Whoopie Pies!

work, humor, food, whoopie pies, barbecue, Modern PhilosopherToday was the annual Employee Appreciation Barbecue at work, Modern Philosophers.

Oh no!  He’s going to complain about work again.  What happened to the funny posts he used to write?  I miss laughing!

Yes, work has been a little tense lately, people have been working a lot of hours, and morale might be lower than Governor LePage’s IQ, but when you inject free food into the equation, life is going to get a little better.

Look at him being positive!  And he made fun of that idiot Governor!  I love when he takes shots at that fast bastard!

Since it was the Employee Appreciation Barbecue, we had to have a theme.  For some reason, they can’t just say thank you and give us free food.  We have to dress up, decorate, and entertain the big wigs who come to cook for us.

That sounds a little odd.  Making you work for your free food, don’t you think?

We’ve been so busy playing catch up that we didn’t have much time to play dress up.  As a result, we went with a simple Hawaiian theme.  Most people didn’t dress up, though.

As you can see from the above photo, I wore a hideous shirt that The Girl Who Moved Away hated so much she forbid me to wear and hid it in a rarely used closet.

humor, work, life, barbecue, Modern PhilosopherI found it, though.

And we can see why she hid it!

Someone bought leis, which made things more festive.  One of the supervisors was too embarrassed to ask us if we wanted leis, so she kept referring to them as “flower rings”.

This whole politically correct in the workplace thing has gone too far!  Let leis be leis!

Since I’m so busy with work, I didn’t go out with the first wave of people to get food.  I was going to try to stick it out, but eventually, my stomach won out.

Well, your stomach is much bigger than you.  Of course it’s going to win!  It’s not really a fair fight…

The admin folks like us to eat outside and enjoy a little camaraderie, but a good portion of the population came back inside to eat at their desks while they continued to work.

If you feed them, they will leave…

This year, there was chicken.  I love chicken.  I’m willing to work sixty hour weeks, Modern Philosophers, but I’m not going to pass up on chicken!

Why did the Modern Philosopher cross the road???

So I went out, filled my plate with macaroni and potato salad, and then sprinted to the grill.  There, I requested a bacon cheeseburger and some grilled chicken.

Once my employers showed their appreciation by handing me all that food free of charge, I showed them how appreciative I was by heading back to my desk to keep working.

The way to a man’s work ethic is through his tummy!

The chicken was awesome and the burger was delicious, but it was the dessert that earned a place in the title of this post, Modern Philosophers.

I love whoopie pies.

Not as much as we love making whoopie pies!

whhopie pies, food, work, humor, Modern PhilosopherCheck out how tiny these whoopie pies were.

For some perspective, I put my pen in front of them.

Notice how my pen is longer than two of the whoopie pies placed side by side.

He said “pen is longer”.  Hee hee hee!

For those of you who’ve never been lucky enough to experience a whoopie pie, they are usually much larger.

Huuuuuuuuuge as Donald Trump would say.  But these bad boys were are tiny as Trump’s hands.

More Trump jokes!  That’s what will make America great again!

So even though I worked through my lunch and put in an eleven and a half hour day, it was nice to be appreciated.

Even though no one truly appreciated my Hawaiian shirt.

And no one ever will.  Burn it now!  Before Trump builds a wall to keep it out!

The voices in my head want you to follow me on Pinterest…



About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Feed Them Tiny Whoopie Pies!

  1. Joseph Nebus says:

    Well if you’d said there would be Whoopie Pies we’d have tried harder to be there.

  2. susielindau says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever had a whoopie pie. What am I missing, Austin?

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