Future President Trump To Ban Time Travel

time travel, Back to the Future, Donald Trump, politics, humor, flash fiction, Modern PhilosopherThe frantic knocking at the front door of The House on the Hill was my first clue that this wasn’t going to be the relaxing Friday night I’d been craving all week.

I’d barely cracked open the door when Doc Brown burst into the foyer, his wild expression looking even more frantic than usual.

“Great Scott, Austin, I need your help!” he declared excitedly as he paced across the hardwood floor in long, powerful strides.  “We’ve got to do something right now!”

“Doc!  Long time, no see,” I commented calmly as I peeked out the front door to make sure the DeLorean was parked safely in the driveway.  “When are you coming from?”

“From the future, of course, Austin,” Doc answered with a look of dismay in response to what he thought was a stupid question.  “Doesn’t my wardrobe make that obvious?”

I grabbed my dear friend by the arm of his futuristic Hawaiian shirt and did my best to hold him in place so we could talk.

“I’m asking you to be more specific, Doc,” I explained with a smile.

“2035.  Nearly two decades into President Trump’s reign,” Doc answered and then broke away from my grasp to start with the crazed pacing again.

Donald Trump, politics, time travel, Doc Brown, humor, satire, flash fiction, Modern Philosopher“Wait.  Trump won the election?” I asked in utter befuddlement.

“Of course he did,” Doc yelled back at me.  “Why else would I be in such a state?”

“And he got re-elected?” I persisted.

“Not exactly,” Doc growled.  “He decided to outlaw elections and declared himself President for life.”

“How?  Why didn’t anyone stop him?  What the hell is going on in the future?” I pleaded for information in a desperate voice that sent Doc flying at me from across the foyer.

He placed his hands on my shoulders and shook me.  “We don’t have time for a history lesson.  We have a much bigger problem that needs addressing.”

“Bigger than Future President Trump For Life?” I whispered, too afraid to say the words loud enough to make them real.

“Yes, Austin,” Doc assured me as he shook his head and caused his already out of control hair to look even more like how I always imagine he’d look if he stuck his tongue into the flux capacitor.

“Do I even want to know?” I questioned almost rhetorically.

time travel, Back to the Future, Donald Trump, flash fiction, humor, politics, Modern Philosopher“Future President Trump bans time travel!” Doc yelled so loudly that it shook every window on the first floor.  “I risked lifetime imprisonment by traveling back here to tell you the news.  Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get over the wall Trump had built around the past?”

“Who did he make pay for the wall?”  I had to know.

“Great Scott, Austin, just focus!” my hero scolded me.  “If Future President Trump is allowed to ban time travel, I’ll have to spend the future living under his rule.  I’d rather drive a taxi in New York City in the 70s than do that!”

I loved it when Doc made witty pop culture references, but something about the current mood prevented me from really enjoying that last one.

“Why does he ban time travel?  And who finally perfects it for use by the masses?”  I had so many questions, which was apparently typical of someone from my era.

“It was me, of course,” Doc confessed.  “I got bored and needed the money, so I patented the flux capacitor and sold it to Mark Zuckerberg for mass production.  He needed something to make him hip again because Facebook is so lame in the 2030s.”

Like it wasn’t already lame.  But that was a discussion for another time.  “But why did Trump ban time travel?”

time travel, Back to the Future, Donald Trump, politics, humor, satire, Modern Philosopher“After Canada and Mexico locked up their borders to keep out Americans, the only way to escape the rule of President Trump, without having to lamely resort to moving to Europe, was to travel through time to a period when he wasn’t President.”

“Trump wasn’t a fan of that because he needed citizens around to pay taxes and to serve as cheap labor so he could build more Trump Towers and Trump Casinos.”

“That’s a horrible future,” I admitted.  “How do we stop it?”

“By making sure he never gets elected President!” Doc declared…

Before you travel through time to avoid Future President Trump, could you take just a minute to follow me on Pinterest?  And follow this blog, too.  It’s damn good!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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7 Responses to Future President Trump To Ban Time Travel

  1. I knew it!! There goes my future travel plans. Dang it!

  2. EarthGround says:

    Southpark did it so well…taken are jarbs. This was funny.

  3. Pingback: Friday Feeds Special Politics Edition | Candace Vianna Writes

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