Not Today, Snow Miser!

Snow Miser, Thanksgiving, snow, winter, poetry, humor, Modern Philosopher, Monday Monday…

The one day of the week

You ain’t gonna wanna

Mess with me!

Not only

Am I already in a horrible mood,

But it’s also

The day

I’m most likely

To maul

The English language

Because of

My disgruntled state of mind.


Is a mere

Turkey leg away,

But I don’t have plans,

Or any desire

To participate in

The holiday

That celebrates

America’s dedication to obesity.

Today (Monday)

Was not the day

To add a straw

To this grumpy

Camel’s back.

But there I was,

Chained to my desk,

Willing the hands

Of the world’s slowest clock

To move to five pm,

When someone shouted

(Gleefully, mind you!)

That it was snowing.

Without question,

The last thing

I needed to hear.

My Monday

Had just gone


I was so enraged

By the unsolicited

Report of the weather,

That I snapped my chains,

Broke free from my desk,

And ran out to

The parking lot.

I lifted my weary eyes

To the heavens.


Quickly covered my glasses,

And I shouted,

Loud enough

To wake the dead

On Saturn:

“Not today, Snow Miser!”

Moments later,

The snow stopped,

The sun returned,

And I went back

To hating this particular Monday,

For reasons

Other than

The weather.


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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4 Responses to Not Today, Snow Miser!

  1. Gail says:

    Snow before Thanksgiving is simply unpatriotic. Outdoor scenes should be full of autumn color, not white. So glad you chased it away from Maine. Now do your magic and drive it out of CT too.

  2. grannyK says:

    We are supposed to get snow tomorrow. I wouldn’t mind too much if it weren’t for the fact that my tires are so bald they make a better sled than tire. No money for new ones, so this could be a fun winter! If you truly have the gift of snow-scaring, will you please head to Idaho and scare ours away this winter?

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