Why I Wear Brown Pants When It Snows

Winter in Maine, snow, blizzard, driving in snow, anxiety, humor, Modern PhilosopherDo you want to know what the crazy thing about all this is, Modern Philosophers?

I didn’t even realize it was going to snow today until I read an email on Friday from the HR Department.  They wanted us to know that even though a big storm was expected today, the company would most likely not give us a snow day.

How delightful of them to take the time to do that.

A simple email on Friday afternoon was all it took to set off my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder…

Day 73The first big storm of the year has arrived.  The anxiety has total taken control.  I’m trying so hard not to let it get to me, but it’s like some sort of switch flips inside me and I no longer have a say as to how I’m going to act.

The reports predict anywhere from 5-10 inches of the white death.  I’m hoping that the new snow tires will help, but I can’t help but be terrified at the thought of having to drive in yet another Maine snowstorm…

I’m honestly working on my fear of driving in the snow, and I think the fact that I didn’t know it was going to snow today proves it.  I’ve been avoiding the weather reports, trying not to expose myself to anything that will cause stress, and slowly counting down to the end of the 182 Days of Terror.

Maine, winter, snowstorm, driving in snow, anxiety, post traumatic snow disorder, 182 days of terror, Modern PhilosopherOf course, the fact that HR needed to address the coming storm meant that it had the potential to be a problem.

Luckily, I had snow tires put on my car on Thursday when I had it inspected.  It’s hard to believe, but in fourteen years in Maine, I’ve never had snow tires.

It has always been a money issue, but this year, having worked all that overtime, I didn’t even hesitate when my mechanic made the suggestion.

As anxiety led a coup to take over my body this weekend, my best weapon for fighting it off was remembering that I’d finally have snow tires in the war against winter.

I don’t know how many times I checked the weather report this weekend, but no matter how often I looked at it, it always predicted snow.

Yesterday, I was watching the Bills game, which was played in a heavy snowstorm, and it reminded me what Snow Miser was sending up to Maine.

The storm was scheduled to begin at 3:00AM, so I set the alarm for 5:30 so I could shovel out the driveway before work.  There was also a supposed gap in the storm at 7:00, so I planned to leave for work at that time.

To my surprise, there wasn’t much snow at 6:00.  I cleared the driveway, and since I was still a bundle of anxious energy, I shoveled the street in front of The House on the Hill.

winter, Maine, snow, blizzard, driving, anxiety, humor, Modern PhilosopherAs planned, I hit the road at 7:00.  Since I finally had snow tires, I boldly went up the hill to the highway, rather than taking the longer downhill route.  My car made the climb without any issue.  No swerving out on the turns.  I felt confident.

Sure, I never topped 40 mph on the highway, but having snow tires wasn’t going to suddenly turn me into a NASCAR driver.

I did, however, feel much more confident on the drive to work.  That was a new, and very welcome feeling.

Rather than stress all day about how much snow was piling up outside, I focused on the fact that I was going to get home safely because I had a better car at my command.

Again, I took it slow, but I got on the highway and didn’t resort to taking side streets.

Much to my delight, I arrived at The House on the Hill to discover that my neighbor Mark had plowed the driveway!  What a relief.  That was my last bit of anxiety, as that ascent and final leg of my journey has always been a chore.

Maine, snow, winter, driving in snow, anxiety, humor, satire, Modern PhilosopherTonight, for the first time since I moved to Maine, I made it up the driveway during a snowstorm without taking a serpentine route to the garage.

The weatherman said that Snow Miser dumped five and a half inches of the nasty white stuff on Bangor, but in the end, my stress levels didn’t spin wildly out of control like they normally do when I’m driving in a Winter Wonderland.

In fact, I won’t even have to throw out this pair of pants, which is a big plus because I happen to like them and they look really good on me…

Follow me on Pinterest.  Let’s not argue about it.  Just do it!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Why I Wear Brown Pants When It Snows

  1. Rachel says:

    I follow directions and followed you on Pinterest. 😉

    I’m NOT looking forward to the massive amount of white death heading our way this week. Polar Vortices, here we come…

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