While it might seem impossible to believe, given my feelings about the holiday celebrated on December 25, I actually bought a Christmas present today.
I know, right???
For those of you who are either new to the blog, or haven’t been paying attention for the past few years, I kinda sorta hate Christmas because it makes me sad.
No time of year makes me realize how lonely and pathetically single I am like the “most wonderful time of the year”.
I tend to eschew the celebrating of the holiday altogether. I put on a happy face about it at work so as to not raise too much suspicion, but there is no Christmas tree at The House on the Hill, no wreath on the door, the halls are not decked, and there are no gifts waiting for me to open on Christmas morning.
Sure, I’ll wander the neighborhood looking at the Christmas lights, I’ll watch my favorite Christmas specials (yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie!!!), and I’ll annoy my coworkers with my horrible singing along to the Christmas Carols on the radio skills, but I’m just crying inside and wishing someone cared about me enough to spend the holiday with me and buy me some presents.
Of course, this was supposed to be the year this all changed. The plan was for The Sweet Irish Girl to be the Lady of The House on the Hill by now, but she is spending Christmas on her side of the Atlantic without the hopeless romantic who still loves her madly.
So I will once again be celebrating an Introvert’s Christmas. I’ll sequester myself at home, drink eggnog, eat Christmas cookies, watch football and movies, and try not to think about how alone I am.
As much as I’m not in the Christmas Spirit, however, I had a secret desire to be a Christmas shopper again.
No, I didn’t want to go to the mall and hit all the stores. Nor did I want to spend hours wrapping presents because I always will be the World’s Worst Wrapper.
I did, however, want to buy something for The Other Melissa. She has been a very good friend to me since she magically reappeared at my door a few months ago, and that kind of patience, dedication, and friendship should be acknowledged at Christmas.
Mel has been so busy planning her wedding that I haven’t seen her in a couple of weeks. We don’t ever miss each other, but life has been a little boring without her picking on me, dragging me on little adventures, and nearly killing me with her horrible driving.
So after work, I went and bought this little menace a Christmas gift. While I’m loathe to admit it, the act did bring tidings of comfort and joy for the briefest of moments, but I’ve managed to bury those feelings down deep again.
In the end, the fact that someone does care about me allowed the Christmas Spirit to possess my body just long enough to do something that is against my basic nature.
It gave me some insight into why you all love Christmas, but I cast out the Christmas Spirit before it conjured up any memories of Christmas past. There is no place in my life for such memories now. All they do is drudge up tears and feelings that life will never be as merry as it once was.
The present is tucked away now, awaiting The Other Melissa’s next visit, and I’m back to pretending that nothing special happens six days from today.
Because there’s no place at my home for the holidays…
Give me the gift of following my blog this Christmas. You might as well be extra generous and throw in a follow on Pinterest, too…