Bring Your Ice Age To Work Day

Maine has got to be the coldest state in the country, ice age, winter in Maine, humor, weather, Modern PhilosopherDay 101 — I cannot believe how cold it is.  Seven degrees below zero as I leave for work this morning.  Hopefully, the car will start because there’s no way I’d survive the walk to the office in these temperatures.

Luckily, the pipes didn’t freeze last night, but I’m leaving the water running while I’m at work so I don’t stress all day about returning home to frozen pipes.

I’m wearing my running mask out to the car because I refuse to allow my handsome face to be damaged by Snow Miser’s angry kiss…

Yes, Modern Philosophers, it is extremely cold in Maine.  I’d say it’s like living in an ice box, but at least you can pull the plug in one of those and defrost it.  I think Maine will be frozen for a very long time.

As I mentioned in my diary entry, I kept stress levels under control by leaving the water running at a slow drip overnight.  I didn’t want to let it run all day while I was at work and be wasteful, but it was seven below when I left The House on the Hill, and I couldn’t deal with worrying about it until 5:00.

That is the big difference with me this winter, Modern Philosophers.  I’m keeping my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder in check by taking measures to prevent my stress levels from skyrocketing into the red.

New snow tires on the car have greatly reduced my fear of driving in the snow.

Not worrying about how much snow is on the roof has completely vanquished my fear of the roof leaking.

winter in Maine, the new ice age, subzero temperatures, 182 days of terror, humor, stress, Modern PhilosopherLetting the water drip all day while I’m at work ensures that I don’t waste the work day fretting that the pipes are going to freeze and burst while I’m in the office.

Today is Day 101 of the 182 Days of Terror that make up a Maine winter.  To this point, I have yet to need to fill the prescription for my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder medications, nor have I missed a day of work because I locked myself in the basement bunker out of fear that Snow Miser was trying to kill me.

This has not been a mild winter, but my reaction to the weather, thus far, has been anything but normal.

It was so cold this morning, that I had to take a detour on the way to work because a pack of woolly mammoths had blocked off the 395.

I don’t know what took Animal Control so long to get out there to handle the situation, but it left a lot of commuters pissed off to say the least.

Several of my coworkers called out today, and I can only image it was because they had no way of getting across the glacial plains to make it to the office.

Luckily for me, The House on the Hill is located in a more populated area, so there was easier access to paved roads.  My coworkers who live out in the middle of nowhere, however, woke up to discover glaciers where open fields once took up space.

It was so cold here today that I found myself wishing that Donald Trump would show up and rant about any perceived slights or ridiculous idea that popped into his head.  All that hot air would have been welcomed and appreciated.

When I left the office at the end of the work day, I found that my windshield was covered with frost on the inside.

That frustrated the @#$% out of me because I had used an internet trick to prevent that from happening.  I filled on old sock with kitty litter, put that inside a second sock, and then placed them on the dashboard.  Like magic, there had been no more inside frost.

ice age, winter in Maine, freezing, humor, Modern Philosopher

The view from my front porch this morning.

Today’s Ice Age, unfortunately, brought an end to that streak.  So, like a total weirdo, I sat in my car scraping the inside of my windshield as my coworkers drove off to their warm, welcoming homes.

When I eventually got home, though, there were no frozen pipes, and the house was warm and toasty.

I grilled some woolly mammoth steaks for dinner and sat down to write this post.

In the end, it wasn’t the worst day ever, but it sure seemed like the coldest.

101 days down, 81 to go.  Spring is just around the corner from this Ice Age…

Following me on Pinterest will make you feel warm and fuzzy, and following my blog will keep the woolly mammoths from trampling you!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Bring Your Ice Age To Work Day

  1. Louise says:

    Ha ha 5 below….its a mild 25c…..coolish breeze wafting off port phillip bay…..where was manny? Bet he was cuddling up to that squirrel..

  2. stomperdad says:

    Our windchill is -26C (-14F). I contemplated going for a run today and almost did. I ended up running on the treadmill instead.

  3. I walked out of my dorm one morning and it was -9 degrees outside. IN VIRGINIA. I was so close to turning around and going back inside, but I didn’t want to skip class.

  4. Come to the southern hemisphere. It was 30 degrees C today in parts of the North Island of New Zealand and it’s only snowed once in Wellington in half a century…

  5. 55 and sprinkling in Los Angeles. Guess I shouldn’t complain 🙂

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