Will Donald Trump The Robot Apocalypse?

On the eve of Donald Trump’s inauguration, I realize that I have totally neglected one major story because we’ve all been so distracted by the President Elect’s rise to power…

The Robot Apocalypse!

We’ve been so caught up in the election and the coming Trumpocalypse, that we’ve paid absolutely no mind to Robot High Command’s plot to enslave the human race and take over the world.

Was it a coincidence that Trump came along when he did, or was he a part of The Machine’s devious plan all along?

Let’s look at the facts:

Donald Trump “won” the election, and is about to become the President of the United States.  Reports suggest that the election results might have been “influenced” by hackers.  Intelligence agencies believe the Russians were behind this hack.  The Russians deny any involvement, Trump doesn’t trust the intelligence agencies, and many people believe the world will end once Trump takes the Oath of Office.

It is hard to believe that Donald Trump, a man with absolutely no political experience and the tendency to say whatever the hell pops into his head at any given moment, would beat an experienced politician like Hillary Clinton, whose every word, thought, and blink was scripted, in such an important election.

It makes sense that Putin and the Russians would want their comrade to win the election. We know that Russian hackers have the skills necessary to mess with our nation’s ancient polling machines, and Putin has the balls to order them to do it.

But isn’t that “The Russians did it!!” theory just a little too perfect, and isn’t Putin just a bit too on the nose on the evil mastermind of this master plan?

Wouldn’t setting up the Russians to be the villains like this was a kick ass 80s action flick be a classic misdirection?  Isn’t Trump the larger than life controversial figure that forces everyone to pick a side with great passion?  And when everyone picks a side in a situation like this, don’t they get tunnel vision, only focus on the issue at hand, and totally let down their guard when it comes to pretty much anything else?

Do you see where I’m going with this yet, Modern Philosophers?

Trump didn’t just happen to come along to dominate the news cycles and make us all rush to social media to attack or support him.

The Russians didn’t hack the election, but somebody did.

Who would want us so distracted?

Who would want Trump in charge even more than the Russians would?

Who would have the easiest time hacking a system of machines across the country?

Robot High Command.

Think about it, Modern Philosophers.  The Machines simply hacked themselves.  Robot High Command wanted Trump in control of the country because it already had him under control.

With Twitter.

The more the President Elect bumbles around on Twitter, the further he falls under the spell of The Machines.

We’re all so worried that Donald Trump is going to bring about the Apocalypse (after he brings us The Purge, of course), that we’ve completely forgotten to guard against the one true threat to the human race:

The Robot Apocalypse.

The Machines used Trump as a virus that quickly spread across the nation and infected us all, no matter how we felt about the man.

Now that the virus has been uploaded, Robot High Command has us exactly where it wants us.  While we protest Trump’s inauguration, or throw our support completely behind the man, The Machines are coming for us.

Before we know it, we will be their slaves and praying that we had only been so lucky to go out in a mushroom cloud of infamy in the Trumpocalypse.

It might not be too late, though, Modern Philosophers!  Stop worrying about Trump ending the world, and prepare, instead, for The Robot Apocalypse.

Let Robot High Command keep Trump.  There are plenty of other flawed leaders out there for us to elect in the years ahead.  Head to your basement bunkers.  Unplug for a few days.  Don’t give The Machines a way in to take over your mind and soul.

Good luck, godspeed, and never forget that there are actually still worse things than Trump in the world!

Before you unplug, you should follow my blog and follow me on Pinterest so you can stay up to date on the fight against Robot High Command!