Such A Snow Bag!

February is here and Snow Miser returns, bitter winter poetry by the Modern PhilosopherFlip the calendar

To February.

It’s the first

Of the worst,

Winter’s shortest,

But most brutal



Who decided

To show

His ugly,

Frozen face

In honor

Of the four weeks

That will test


The heartiest


Snow Miser,

Of course.

Never one

To crash

A winter party

Empty handed,

The Ice Imp

Brought along

Frigid temps

And more

Damn snow.

Make Maine

An Icebox Again!

Was stitched across

His ugly

Red hat.

Prancing around,

Smiling and laughing,

Babbling incessantly

About a

Winter Wonderland,

My nemesis

Made me long

For something

Other than

Spring’s arrival.

What I wanted,

Even more than

Eternal sunshine

And endless flowers,

Was the chance

To punch

That Snow Bag

Right across

His @#$%^&* face!


His frozen nose

Like an ice cube

With my fist

Of frigid fury.

I’m not one


Prone to violence,

But you don’t

Poke the bear

When it’s


And you


Don’t poke it,

When it’s

Already pissy

From shoveling

So much snow.

I told

That frigid

Snow Bag


To his

Frozen face

That I’m

In no mood

For his antics

This month.

I threw down

My mitten,

Flipped him

The snow bird,

And went inside

Where it was

Warm and cozy.

Piss off,

Snow Bag!

I ain’t

Got the time

For the likes

Of you!

If you hate Winter, too, you should really follow me on my blog and on Pinterest.  I’ll lead the way to the safety of Spring!


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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6 Responses to Such A Snow Bag!

  1. I too hate snow bag…what about his evil twin ice sheet. The two of them can just go &*)^ off.

  2. Silly Mummy says:

    I love winter! & like February (though not as much as December). Love snow! Of course, I don’t live in Maine – I love snow cos I hardly ever see any! Though I did live in Michigan for a year & still loved snow.

  3. Gail Kaufman says:

    Sounds like someone needs a Florida vacation:-)

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