An Abundance of Snow

Winter Storm Orson, blizzard in Maine, short story, The Devil, humor, Modern Philosopher“Do you think you’ll have work tomorrow?” The Devil asked as he stared out the front window.

“I really hope not,” I quickly replied.  “They’re predicting anywhere from a foot to three feet of snow by Monday night.  I’d like to believe my company wouldn’t want to send its employees out into a blizzard.”

“Seems illogical,” Lucifer concurred as he turned away from the window and walked back to the couch.

As always, he wore an impeccably tailored suit with expensive Italian loafers, and his hair was perfectly slicked back from his handsome face.

In other words, he did not look at all ready to deal with the wrath of Winter Storm Orson.

“It doesn’t make any sense for us to risk our safety driving in a storm that horrendous,” I continued my argument as if the fate of my workday depended on it.  “No one else is going out in the storm, so there won’t be anyone else around to do business with all day.  It’s not a time to be outside.”

The Prince of Darkness nodded his agreement as he handed me a bottle of Snapple from the cooler in front of the couch.

“Snow is never a problem in Hell,” he stated the obvious with a Devilish grin.  “If you ever change your mind about how you want to spend eternity, I can guarantee you a snow-free environment.”

“Are you implying that it snows in Heaven?” I asked after a sip of Snapple.

The Devil, short story, blizzard, Maine, humor, Modern Philosopher“No comment,” Satan quickly replied.  “Let me pose this philosophical question to you, though, Modern Philosopher.”

“You’re calling me by my title,” I pointed out.  “This must be serious.”

“Does this abundance of snow prove that God exists, or disprove His existence?”

“Whoa!  That’s incredibly deep, even more so when you consider the source,” I tormented him while also giving him a compliment.  “It’s not like you to want to debate God’s existence, especially when you’ve told me on countless occasions that He does exist, you’re very mad at Him, and talking about Him upsets you.”

The Devil rolled his eyes and took a long pull from his bottle of Snapple.

“Leave it to you to turn an old school philosophical debate into a discussion on logic,” he chided.  “Pretend I’m not The Devil.  If we were just two humans talking about the weather, would you say all this snow proves God exists, or disproves his existence?”

“Hmmmmm…” I pondered, ever so deeply, as I drummed my fingers against the side of my bottle.  “On the one hand, I could say that only an all powerful being could create so much of something that turns regular neighborhoods into instant Winter Wonderlands…”

“Then again,” Lucifer cut me off, “any meteorologist could explain how snow is created, why we get so much of it, and why a deity isn’t a necessary part of the process.”

Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, The Devil, short story, snow, blizzards, the existence of God, philosophy, humor, Modern PhilosopherSatisfied that he was finished (because I’m not rude like he is), I continued with my Deep Thoughts, “On the other hand, why would a God, knowing how much I fear driving in snow, how much damage a blizzard can cause, and how dangerous winter weather of any kind can be on mankind, allow there to be so many huge storms?”

“I like the way you think,” The Prince of Darkness purred.  “However, your dreaded Nuns would not at all be pleased  hearing you even question God’s existence.”

“Hey, I don’t see The Nuns out in my driveway clearing all that snow!” I growled.

We both had a good laugh at that one and then sipped our Snapple in silence.

A silence that was finally interrupted by the chirping of my cell phone.  I pulled it out of my pocket to check the text message.

“What do you know?” I said with a smile.  “The office is closed tomorrow because of the storm.  There is a God!”

Satan rolled his eyes while I formed some Deep Thoughts on how to spend my snow day.

I would believe that you existed if you were to follow me on my blog and on Pinterest…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to An Abundance of Snow

  1. Lisa Orchard says:

    Great post! Thanks for the chuckle!

  2. Glenda says:

    I believe Satan considers you his pet…. lol. Great post.

  3. Jerry Peri says:

    Reblogged this on Jerri Perri.

  4. Gail Kaufman says:

    Looking forward to photos of the snowman you’re going to build tomorrow ☃️

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