Ferris Blizzard’s Day Off

Winter Storm Orson, Blizzard shuts down Maine, 182 Days of Terror, humor, photography, Modern PhilosopherDay 136 — The storm of the winter finally arrived today. On Friday, predictions were already calling for two to three feet of snow by the end of the day.  My company decided yesterday to close for the storm.  This afternoon, they decided to open late tomorrow.

The storm got so bad that DOT called the snow plows off the highways because of extreme whiteout conditions.  I shoveled for two and a half hours this morning, and when I went out, the snow was up to my knees.

I shoveled for another two and a half hours tonight, and at that point, the piles of snow were substantially taller than I.  I’m done.  Time to move out of Maine…

I finally got a snow day, Modern Philosophers, and I spent most of it shoveling an ungodly amount of snow.  Ferris Bueller would not be impressed by how I spent my day off.

I did manage to write my last batch of jokes for this week’s taping of The Nite Show, and I finally put together a formal proposal for the show I’m pitching to the network, but other than that, I was a mover of snow all day.

When I went out to shovel at 4:15, there was no indication at all that I’d already spent two and a half hours shoveling this morning.  There were piles of snow so high in my yard that I could have mistaken them for mountains.

182 Days of Terror, Winter in Maine, Blizzard shuts down Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherI thought I was done shoveling when the city snow plow came down my block not once, but twice, and filled the end of the driveway with a wall of snow.

I seriously wanted to cry at that point.

My Post Traumatic Snow Disorder, which I thought I had in check, finally reared its ugly head.  I spent most of the last hour mumbling to myself about how much I hate snow, winter, Maine, city snow plows, and mashed potatoes (all the snow reminded me of that once beloved side dish).

I didn’t sit down to dinner until 7:30, my back is killing me, my legs and arms are sore, and I just want to find a country that has banned snow and offers an open door policy for refugees from Maine.

I’m really too tired to write, and all I’d be doing is whining and moaning about how horrible this blizzard was (there’s got to be at least two feet of snow out there).

I took a lot of photos, so let me have them tell the story of my day.  If anyone wants to take in a Modern Philosopher on the run from winter, please let me know…

Maine, winter, blizzard, Modern PhilosopherLook at how high the snow is in the foreground and around the mailbox.  I was seriously running out of places to put the snow I was clearing from the driveway.

Maine, snow, blizzard, post traumatic snow disorder, Modern PhilosopherThe driveway after Mark ran the snow blower down the left side and I had been shoveling on the right.  Check out how the snow is right up to the front windows of Janine’s house across the street.

Winter Storm Orson, Maine, blizzard, winter, Modern PhilosopherThis one was taken this morning.  I was out shoveling in near white out conditions.

Maine, blizzard, snow, photogprahy, Modern PhilosopherThe view from my front porch.  Hard to see across the street.

blizzard, snow, Maine, Modern PhilosopherIt’s like a Winter Wonderland that needs to be shoveled constantly!

Maine, snow, winter, blizzard, Modern PhilosopherThat’s a standard sized snow shovel, not a toy one for digging in the sand at the beach.  Look at how tall that mountain of snow is.  I was shoveling the driveway and then hurling the snow over that mountain and into the backyard.  No wonder I’m in so much pain!

winter, Maine, snow, blizzard, Modern PhilosopherThe fence that separates the driveway from the yard was pretty much buried by the time I finished shoveling.  I hope it’s still there once the snow melts.

There are more photos, but sharing them is depressing me.  I need to get my mind off this snow and onto something else.

Not much of a snow day, but at least I didn’t have to drive in it!

Follow me on my blog and on Pinterest, and you can learn everything you ever wanted to know about winters in Maine!



About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

49 Responses to Ferris Blizzard’s Day Off

  1. Hooo wow!!! that was a huge storm… we did got snow as well last week here in NY .. But, I guess only a foot of snow is nothing compare to what you have over there.

  2. Loved this!! I have a few satirical posts, check them out??

  3. lol, that’s awesome 🙂

  4. Ocean Bream says:

    Oh wow the snow makes me so happy. I wish we could swap! England is just really cold at this time, no sign of snow whatsoever.

  5. tarnegolita says:

    Oh my gosh!! Never seen that much snow!! That convinces me: you should definitely move to Israel. No snow, no Christmas and they will be matchmaking you until you’re begging for mercy. Perfect!! 😜

  6. Amanda Lyle says:

    Whoa! I don’t think I’ve seen so much snow in all my life 😳

  7. I’ve flipped off the snow plow driver more than once as he rode past my freshly shoveled driveway. He’s a good sport though and just shrugs his shoulders as he pushes past dumping the wall of snow into my driveway. I’m good for about one storm each winter that is of the caliber you show in your pictures, the rest of the time it should be snow free.

    • Austin says:

      Another foot is expected tomorrow. I’m getting to old for this $%^&!

      • Now is the time that you recruit a strapping young neighborhood boy with the lure of greenbacks if he shovels out your driveway, sidewalks, etc. I recruit my neighbors twins across the street with $25/hour and the use of my snow blower.

        Hoping that the weather forecasters got it wrong. I’m in Pennsylvania and we’ve had maybe 5″ total all winter so far…. the twins are upset about it too.

      • Austin says:

        My neighbor does pitch in with his snowblower at times…

  8. That sucks.🙄
    Time to invest in a backpack blow torch???
    It sounds more fun than a snow blower and hey you’ll be warmish.
    Warning: You may end up with a ice skating rink in your driveway or set fire to your yourself. So don’t forget the safety goggles!

  9. Sounds like a trip to Miami is in order. Good luck with your pitch to the network and thanks for sharing.

  10. As I write this in New Zealand it’s 66 F on the wall thermometer, but that’s because it’s early morning. The other day it hit over 90 by mid afternoon. Snow? What’s that stuff? You need to emigrate! 🙂 (Of course, it IS summer here…)

  11. Gail Kaufman says:

    Sorry, Austin, but Trump just signed an executive order to implement a Maine refugee ban.

  12. Kathryn says:

    Seriously! Have someone with a truck plow that drive way. No way should YOU be shoveling all THAT SNOW!!! We get a lot here (Ottawa) and just lately, but hubby loves snowblowing !
    He works on the snow blower all the time in the Non-snow seasons. Any way pay if you have to, not worth your health to shovel.

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  14. The Hook says:

    Holy Cow!
    And I thought Canada was bad…

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