As I was collecting my Deep Thoughts, Modern Philosophers, for the Friday Night Think Tank, my mind kept drifting back to the idea that President Trump’s White House is out of control. Almost like it’s occupied by a bunch of annoying kids from a teen comedy.
Since Dean Wormer isn’t around to put that rowdy frat house on Pennsylvania Avenue on double secret probation, I wondered if we should just send in The Nuns to whip those troublemakers into shape.
Having gone to Catholic School, I am well aware of the power that the stern ladies in the dark habits possess.
How one cold stare or one tap of a ruler against an ancient palm could bring a swift and sudden order to a seemingly unstoppable chaos.
When you really think about it, doesn’t it seem like President Trump has surrounded himself with a modern day version of The Breakfast Club? The members of Trump’s inner circle who have dominated the news lately would probably be spending Saturday in the library under the watchful eyes of The Nuns if they were of high school age.
Let’s review this version of the Detention Dream Team:
Michael Flynn recently resigned as the National Security Advisor amidst allegations that he said some things to the Russians that he should not have. He’s that kid from school you could never trust because he goes behind your back and gives up your deep, dark secrets to your nemesis. Then he lies to you and tells you he didn’t do it, but luckily, you’ve got it all on tape to prove he’s a liar.
Sean Spicer, the White House Press Secretary has a reputation for being a bit of a hot head. You never know when he’s going to go off on you for asking him a simple question, and he will definitely hold a grudge and make you pay for any perceived slight. Anger management would probably be the next step for this guy if Saturday detention doesn’t improve his attitude and make him a little kinder and gentler.
Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to President Trump, has a thing for alternative facts and spinning any situation to make her boss look good. She’s that girl from school who acted like a queen bee, thought she knew everything, and got into trouble for talking back to and correcting the teachers.
Betsy DeVos, Trump’s Secretary of Education, is now being guarded by the US Marshals Service after a group of protestors prevented her from entering a school. At least that’s the excuse she gave the principal for missing school that day. DeVos is that spoiled rich girl who had everything served to her on a silver platter, including Saturday detention because she someone caused everyone in the school to hate her.
Then there’s Steve Bannon, Trump’s Darth Vader. He rules the universe via his mastery of the Dark Side of the Force, and Force chokes anyone who disagrees with the way he thinks the country should be run. He’s the guy who’s in detention every week because he does crazy $%^& like building walls around the cafeteria to keep out the nerds. No one wants to mess with him, and the teachers don’t quite know how to deal with him, so I guess it’s up to the Secretary of Education to decide this fate…
Has President Trump assembled a modern day version of The Breakfast Club? Do you think a month’s worth of Saturday detentions is going to get this pack of ne’er-do-wells to walk the straight and narrow again? Or do you simply think they’ll use their new found power to have us all deported to another school?
Would Trump’s Breakfast Club be any match for The Nuns? Should they all be put on Double Secret Probation for the remainder of the school year? I’d really like to know your Deep Thoughts on all this.
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