This week, however, the post has more of a relationship advice slant due to events that occurred last evening. As always, I like to use my personal experience, even when the wounds are still fresh.
I had a dream about Rachel last night. Those of you familiar with the blog know Rachel as The Girl Who Moved Away, my sweetheart who left to chase her dream of becoming a chiropractor.
She was also the one who insisted I start this blog as a way of keeping myself distracted while she was gone. So you have Rachel to blame for the fact that I’ve pestered you with my silly stories for the past four and a half years.
You might not be sure how to react to having a dream about an ex-girlfriend, so this week’s post will focus on how to handle that exact situation…
Especially if your ex looks amazing in the dream, her skin is ridiculously tan, and she is wearing tight jeans and a shirt that really shows off her tan and reminds you how much you miss her perfect body.
It’s the middle of the night. You need your sleep. Clear your head.
The longer you dwell on the dream, the deeper it becomes embedded in your brain. If you think about it too much, it will become a permanent memory that can never be deleted.
Sure, your subconscious is probably telling you something. Maybe you’re just lonely and horny and your brain thought this little trip down Memory Lane would do you some good. Perhaps this time of year was a special time in your relationship and that’s why she visited you in your dreams.
Just because you dreamed about her, doesn’t mean that she is coming back into your life. If every dream was a preview of things to come, you’d be constantly showing up to work naked or retaking your final exams even though you forgot to study.
It was just a dream, and a very good one at that. Now let it go.
Don’t email her to tell her about the dream. While the dream is the perfect excuse to innocently email her and see if you can strike up an conversation after all this time, you do not want to do that.
She hasn’t spoken to you in over a year and a half, and even though your big brain cannot comprehend why she’s left you in the dust, why would you torture yourself like this? If she replies, then you’re suddenly opening a Pandora’s Box of problems you are not ready to handle in your sleepy state.
If she doesn’t reply, you’re going to check your email a million times hoping to find the response. When it’s not there, you’re going to get angry, sad, frustrated, and re-open a wound that has finally healed.
I know you miss her and always love her, but you have finally gotten over her. Don’t open up your heart to the idea that she’ll finally write to you after all this time just because you had one silly dream.
We both know she’s had dreams about you since you last spoke, but she never emailed you about them. So what does that tell you?
Just leave well enough alone.
Again, stop torturing yourself. Of course those old emails are going to repeatedly mention that she loves you and never wants to be without you. The photos are going to remind you how beautiful she is and that the mere sight of her will cause your heart to skip a beat.
Please don’t hurt yourself like this. If you spend the day reminding yourself of what you once had, and how you pushed her to move away and chase after her dream, you are going to need a lot of therapy to get you back to your kinda, sorta happy place again.
Remember how you couldn’t sleep once you realized she had vanished from your life? You were an absolute wreck. How did you even make it through the work day?
You need to sleep, and while you have no control of your dreams, you can’t live in fear of the fact that she might pop into your late night mind movie again.
It took this long for you to finally dream about her, so logic dictates it will take at least that long for you to dream about her again.
Get your sleep. You’re a real jerk when you’re exhausted.
Don’t beg Doc Brown to borrow his time machine so that you can change history and make sure that she never leaves you to go to school. While Doc might be a good friend and is often willing to lend you the DeLorean, you know he is against doing anything to alter history.
If you keep pestering him about it, he might decide that you are no longer responsible enough to have Time Travel rights. That would totally suck because once you’ve started to Time Travel, you never want to give it up.
The past has already been decided, and you encouraged her to leave. You have to live with that decision and look to the future, which is still an open book.
If you tell them about the dream, they are going to worry about you again.
They know you. You’ll take this dream to be a sign that the Fates want you to be together again, and you will spiral out of control and attract the dark clouds again once common sense returns and you realize she is not coming back.
The last thing you want to do is tell your 17,000 blog followers that you had a dream about Rachel, and then share that post on Facebook where all your friends and family will see it.
Let it be your little secret. It will work out much better in the long run.
I hope this advice works for you, Modern Philosophers. Today, I might have accidentally done everything on this list that I’ve advised you not to do. Learn from my mistakes.
It was just a nice dream. The harsh reality is that she’s never coming back…