As we all know, successful dating requires a lot of luck and a little bit of magic. What Otherworldly Being embodies those two qualities better than the Leprechaun?
Lucky for us, St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, but left the Leprechauns. Now we can study those wee beings in green and learn everything we need to know about having the craic when we go on a date.
So before you drink too much green beer, or eat too much corned beef and cabbage, study these dating tips prior to asking out some fine lass on the Feast of St. Patrick.
How to date like a Leprechaun…
You’d never catch a Leprechaun chatting up the fairer sex in a ratty pair of sweats, a tee shirt, and a baseball cap. Save that look for laundry day, guys.
Dress the part. Look sharp. Make her realize that the Luck of the Irish is with her because she gets to be seen out in public with you.
Be the life of the party and cause a little mischief. I know it’s easy to get a case of the nerves on a first date, and then maybe play it too safe and conservative because you’re eager to make a good first impression, but keep in mind that your date is looking to enjoy herself.
Replace that boring Angel on your shoulder with a mischievous Leprechaun, and show your companion that you have a wild side.
Remember, you want to make the night memorable for all the good reasons. If she’s bored and you end the date too early, she’s only going to remember to not take your call when you try to ask her out again.
No one forgets the date that reminds you of that crazy teen comedy you saw back in high school. Get wild. Stay out way too late. Leave a lasting impression not only on your date, but also on everyone you encounter over the course of the evening.
We’d chat on the phone for hours because her brogue drove me absolutely wild and I never wanted her to stop talking.
I’m not saying that you have to perfect an Irish accent to impress your date, but if you can, she is going to be green jello in your hands. How do you think those wee Leprechauns get such fine looking women?
It’s all about the accent, my friends.
Sweep her off her feet with your (lucky) charms. In the old commercials for Lucky Charms, the beleaguered Leprechaun was always fighting off the annoying American kids who could not keep their hands off of his cereal.
It will pretty much be the same situation with your date if you follow my advice. Turn on the charm, and she will not be able to keep her hands off of you.
I know there is this crazy myth about women liking bad boys, but that was created by the cretins out there who are too lazy to put in the effort to properly woo a woman.
Charm her, Modern Philosophers, and her heart will be yours. And you might even get a nutritious breakfast out of the deal.
Impress her with your shillelagh. Since this is a family friendly blog, I can’t go into too much detail on this tip. Just remember, Leprechauns are never seen out and about without a mighty shillelagh.
Intrigue her with your pot o’ gold. While you certainly don’t want to be attracting any gold diggers who are simply after your fortune, it’s certainly okay to make it clear that you have the kind of money it takes to spoil her.
In other words, don’t be a tightwad. Shower her with gifts, treat her like a princess, don’t let her pay for anything.
Be as generous with your money as you are with your heart. Once you’re married, it’s just as much hers as it is yours anyway, so you might as well have fun spending it on her and benefiting from how she rewards you for giving her everything she wants.
I’ll never be a male model or filthy rich, but I will always be able to break the ice by making a woman laugh.
Leprechauns are notorious pranksters with amazing senses of humor. If you have the chance, spend some time with them, learn some of their jokes, and study the way they can almost magically turn a frown upside down.
And if you don’t have the best sense of humor, keep in mind that everyone is much funnier when the audience is a little tipsy. Keep that green beer flowing, and you’ll be a regular Jim Gaffigan.
Please keep in mind that it’s the twenty-first century, so “Kiss me, I’m Irish!” is not the powerful pick up line it once was. Just follow my advice and all will be well.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
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