How To Avoid Making The Same Dating Mistakes

dating tips, life hacks, relationships, learning from your mistakes, humor, Modern PhilosopherIt hasn’t escaped my notice, Modern Philosophers, that one of the main reasons why I’m still single is because I repeatedly make the same mistakes when I’m dating.

Even though I don’t seem to be able to learn from my mistakes, you definitely can.  In fact, I’m going to make it incredibly easy for you by writing a Dating Tips post on this very topic.

Nobody’s perfect, but if you can figure out how to stop making the same mistakes, you have a much better chance of altering the outcome.

Those who can’t do teach, so let’s call this class to order and I’ll share some of my knowledge with those of you who still have hope.

Are you ready to learn how to avoid making the same dating mistakes?

dating tips, life hacks, relationships, learning from your mistakes, humor, Modern PhilosopherStop Dating.  This is the only foolproof plan out there If you simply stop going on dates, you are guaranteed to stop making the same mistakes.

Sure, that would make you a quitter and you’d be perpetually lonely, but at least you’ll no longer be the idiot who keeps screwing up the same way over and over.

My friends like to tease me that I don’t learn from my mistakes, but if I were to stop dating altogether, I’d finally prove them wrong.  My errors have taught me that I suck at dating and it’s time to find another hobby to pass the time.

I’m told knitting is very relaxing.

dating tips, life hacks, relationships, learning from your mistakes, humor, Modern PhilosopherDate A Different Type.  There is a statistical chance that it actually isn’t you.  Maybe the problem is with the women you’re dating.

I’m told that I have a “particular type”, so if I were to try to date another kind of woman, maybe I wouldn’t make the same stupid mistakes time and again.

Of course, that might mean that I’d just start making a different kind of mistake, but I’m trying to stay positive.

In mentally reviewing my dating history, I have to agree that I do have a type.  The women I gravitate towards are younger, intelligent, witty, way too attractive for me, clearly have commitment issues, and get off on breaking my heart.

Now that I think about it, I really should find a new type of woman to date.

dating tips, life hacks, relationships, learning from your mistakes, humor, Modern PhilosopherBring A Date Coach.  If you’re making the same mistakes repeatedly, maybe you shouldn’t be doing the play calling anymore.

It might be time to bring in a Date Coach to accompany you on your dates and call the shots.  This way, you can just focus on the execution, and your coach is right there to bark out advice or call a timeout if he sees that you’re about to fumble again.

The greatest athletes in the world have coaches.  Even though they are at the top of their game, they still look to someone for advice and direction.  Sure, it might be awkward to have a third person on a date, but I assure you that your companion will be grateful for that third wheel once you totally charm her and flawlessly execute your game plan.

Just make sure that if you hire a hands on coach, he knows to keep his hands the hell off of your date!  That’s one mistake I will definitely never make again.

dating tips, life hacks, relationships, learning from your mistakes, humor, Modern PhilosopherStudy The Game Film.  We live in an amazing technological age that makes it easy to record everything.  So why don’t more people record their dates?  You wouldn’t even need to hire a crew.  Just use your cell phone, and maybe set up a second camera on a tripod somewhere for a wider shot to catch anything your phone might miss.

I don’t want to beat the athlete comparison to a pulp, but jocks religiously study game film.  When you’re in the heat of the moment, you just react instinctively.  You might not even remember doing something or why you did it.

By going back to study the film of your date, you will see exactly what you did, and then have the opportunity to analyze every aspect of the evening.

If you’ve followed my previous piece of advice, you’ll have your Date Coach in the film room with you to give you his invaluable input as well.

Your memory might fool you, but the tape never lies.  Watch it, break it down, learn your tendencies, and then come up with a game plan to cut out the mistakes next time.

dating tips, life hacks, relationships, learning from your mistakes, humor, Modern PhilosopherGet Brainwashed.  Maybe the reason you make the same mistakes over and over is because your brain is wired to act and react in a very specific way.  For all you know, you could have no choice in the matter, and every time a certain situation arises, you will respond to it in the exact same way.

That could be a problem with genetics, the way you were raised, or the fear of God put into you by the Nuns at a very young age.

The only way to fix this one is to reboot.  You’ve got to allow yourself to be brainwashed so you can teach your gray matter to send out different signals in every situation.

I would not recommend your allowing an amateur to brainwash you, nor would I ever tell you to try to do this yourself.  Trust the professionals, Modern Philosophers.  The government has skilled agents trained in brainwashing.  It’s about time the government did something for you for a change!

dating tips, life hacks, relationships, learning from your mistakes, humor, Modern PhilosopherGo Full Groundhog Day.  Everyone has seen the movie Groundhog Day, so this reference should not need much explanation.

Bill Murray wanted Andie MacDowell very badly, but kept making the same mistakes repeatedly in his pursuit of her.

So, he hired a Dating Coach (in this case, it was the local celebrity groundhog), who suggested a whole new approach to dating her.

Bill resorted to the extreme strategy of living the same day over and over until he cut out the mistakes and lived that day perfectly.  He’d review the date films every day, learn from his mistakes, and adjust his game plan.

Eventually, he got the girl and the rest of us got six more weeks of Winter.

Reliving the same day until you make it through the date without a mistake is intense, but if you really want to do it right, you’ve got to be this committed!

dating tips, life hacks, relationships, learning from your mistakes, humor, Modern PhilosopherGet Married.  This one is even more extreme than the Groundhog Day option, and should really only be used as a last resort.  I’m dead serious.

If you simply cannot stop making the same dating mistakes no matter how hard you try, then maybe you should just get married.

Now all your mistakes will be marital ones.

Sure, the consequences of your errors now could be much more severe, but at least you solved that annoying problem of constantly screwing up your dates.  There’s always a silver lining if you look hard enough.

I hope these dating tips help.  If they don’t, keep in mind you were already making these mistakes, so you’re no worse off than when you started!

Don’t make the horrible mistake of forgetting to follow me on my blog and on Pinterest!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Dating, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to How To Avoid Making The Same Dating Mistakes

  1. And when all else fails….return to step one.
    ~~dru~~

  2. davidprosser says:

    I don’t keep making the same mistake on dates because I can’t get any dates. I’m fairly tall, dress reasonably well and I’m erudite I suppose one thing that counts against me is my age but it’s also possible that hardly ever leaving the house is a problem.My brother says that I can’t speak to strangers as well, but that’s patently false as I email all the time. Can you advise?
    Hugs

    • Austin says:

      I’m told I need to get out of The House on the Hill more often to meet women. However, I think it is much more of an exciting challenge to get a fellow blogger living overseas to fall in love with me, than to meet someone at the local bookstore. I’m weird that way. 🙂

  3. robjodiefilogomo says:

    Hey—I’m an avid knitter and it’s mostly women. Maybe if you take it up, it’ll be the perfect avenue for finding a date!??
    jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

  4. Mitchy says:

    I’m available to be a dating coach to whoever is interested. Really what I want is the free dinner and your happiness. Beautiful post Austin.

  5. Rebecca says:

    I went with the last option. 😉 Haha loved this!

  6. The Hook says:

    Thank God I’m married…

  7. Louise says:

    i can knit. So yes take up knitting. it is very meditative and the trip to the wool shop may just introduce you to a very nice quiet, creative lassie for you

  8. Maybe says:

    Austin i have serious commitment problems i can’t commit specially to woman and i used to think i am good in this dating thing cause I have a lot of Ex but as i grew up i found out that i’m really bad at this dating thing , the longest relation i had was for 3 months than i had to change the girl. How funny when you start to think about the same thing in a completely different way.

  9. Pingback: What’s Happening Now – Meet Mitchell

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