Every once in a while, however, those cagey Brits will book a guest we can’t get here in the States, and I’ll have to begrudgingly tune in to catch the interview.
Today’s Easter Weekend edition of Tea and Crumpets With Alistair Winterbottom, IV had a very special guest: Jesus Christ.
Apparently, the Son of God doesn’t do many personal appearances, but He and Alistair go way back, and Jesus wanted to send out a message of hope during such troubled times.
Plus, He seemed pretty intent on reminding people of the true reason we celebrate Easter.
“It’s not all about the candy, the colored eggs, and the big baskets,” Jesus reminded the host. “Easter is actually the celebration of my Resurrection. I rose from the dead thousands of years before any character on The Walking Dead ever figured out how to pull off that one.”
Jesus spent a few minutes joking about how He deserved credit for creating the Zombie Genre. “I guess when you create everything in existence, people forget to give you credit for the little things that turn into huge moneymakers. It’s all good, though.”
When Alistair McStuffypants tried to get a rise out of The King of Kings by asking Him if it bothered Him that the Easter Bunny had hijacked His holiday, Jesus gave an answer that obviously caught the smug, upper crust Brit off guard.
“Well, if I were to get upset at everyone who stole my spotlight, I’d have a real problem with Santa Claus,” He replied glibly. “But I’d never go there because I’m all about turning the other cheek. Plus, if I got into a beef with Santa, I’d definitely end up on the Naughty List. No one wants that!”
When Lord Winterbottom pressed the Lord and Savior about having an issue with the Easter Bunny, He replied, “How do you know that’s not me in the Easter Bunny costume? I mean, clearly, that’s some dude dressed as a rabbit since rabbits aren’t that tall.”
“And how would one giant bunny manage to deliver all those Easter baskets over the course of a single evening?” Jesus continued. “If I had to guess, I’d say it would take a miracle to get that done. And who do you know who’s an ace at performing miracles?”
At that point, the host began to prattle on somewhat incoherently while also demanding that his producer fetch him a new pot of tea.
All the while, Jesus could be heard chuckling in His microphone. It was certainly not what I’d expect from an uptight British radio show, but it was definitely the highlight of my weekend thus far.
I was unable to get through to Jesus at the radio station to ask for a comment because the lines were flooded with callers, but I did manage to connect with The Vatican to get Pope Francis’ reaction to Jesus’ revelation. I had to know if he thought the Son of God was simply playing a prank to get religion the attention it deserves on Easter.
“All I can tell you, Austin, is that what happens inside the Easter Bunny costume stays inside the Easter Bunny costume,” The Holy Father informed me with a chuckle.
I’m not really sure what to believe, Modern Philosophers, other than that Jesus is very savvy at viral marketing. #JesusBunny has been trending all day on social media.
Whatever the truth is, I hope you all have a Happy Easter!
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