Intriguing Insights Into Speed Dating

dating tips, speed dating, relationships, life hacks, advice, Speed, Sandra Bullock, humor, Modern PhilosopherIt has been a cold, rainy day at The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers, and the interns were getting on my last nerve because the weather prevented them from going outside to play.

So to both placate them and maintain my sanity, I allowed them to pick the topic for today’s Dating Tips post.

The interns, in their infinite wisdom, decided I should write about Speed Dating, even though I, nor any of them, have never used this service.

As a result, we spent the day researching Speed Dating.

I learned a great deal, and now I’m ready to share some intriguing insights with you.  Hopefully, these pearls of wisdom will help you decide if Speed Dating is a viable option in your search for that special someone.

dating tips, speed dating, relationships, life hacks, advice, Speed, Sandra Bullock, humor, Modern PhilosopherSpeed Dating has absolutely nothing to do with the movie Speed. This one not only caught me by surprise, but also left me greatly disappointed.

I was certain that Speed Dating involved a bunch of single people getting on a bus, and then trying to know each other as the driver took them on a tour of the city while also making sure the speed of the bus never went below 50 mph.

Of course, I also erroneously assumed that all the woman on the Speed Dating bus would look like Sandra Bullock.

On the bright side, since Speed Dating has nothing to do with the 1994 action film that introduced us to Sandra Bullock, I now have an awesome idea for a dating service that is sure to be a huge money maker!

dating tips, speed dating, relationships, life hacks, advice, Speed, Sandra Bullock, humor, Modern PhilosopherSpeed Dating participants are not hopped up on speed.  To be perfectly honest, this factoid came as a major relief.

Dating is hard enough when done sober, so I can only imagine how freaky it would be if everyone involved was tripping out or as high as a kite.

Of course, with so many states legalizing marijuana lately, it’s only a matter of time before Speed Dating becomes more about the drugs and getting high than it is about meeting the love of your life.

I really do worry about our future sometimes.

dating tips, speed dating, relationships, life hacks, advice, Speed, Sandra Bullock, humor, Modern PhilosopherTalking quickly does not impress.  Since I moved to Maine fourteen years ago, I’ve been told countless times by the locals that I speak too quickly.

That’s just the New Yorker in me, always talking as quickly as possible to make sure I can get in a word edgewise.  You can’t just shut that off simply because you move to a state where everyone talks wicked slowly.

I hoped that Speed Dating would finally be an opportunity to put my fast talking skills to good use, but apparently, being able to spit out a sentence at the speed of light does not earn you a gold star or increase your chances of finding a date.

dating tips, speed dating, relationships, life hacks, advice, Speed, Sandra Bullock, humor, Modern PhilosopherThe most attractive potential dates are not awarded to the fastest sprinters.  Since I’m back to a regular running routine, I was excited by the possibility that my newfound speed would work to my advantage.

Surely Speed Dating, if not based on the movie Speed, had to have something to do with the men running sprints and the winners being awarded first pick out of the female dating pool.  I’m not the Flash, but I can hold my own in a race and my runner’s legs look damn good right now.

Sadly, Speed Dating has nothing to do with running.  Nor does it involve any other athletic activity where the goal is to move as quickly as possible.

dating tips, speed dating, relationships, life hacks, advice, Speed, Sandra Bullock, humor, Modern PhilosopherSpeed Dating is not a combination traffic court/dating service.  I’ve never gotten a speeding ticket, and I thought that perhaps this would work to my advantage.

The way I saw this playing out was that women would appear before the dating judge to deal with their speeding tickets.  The judge would then offer them the option of paying a fine, going to jail, or going on a date with one of the single men in the courtroom.

Clearly, the men with the clean driving records would then get first dibs at the women who chose to go the dating route.

I’m not a big fan of driving, so the thought of dating a woman with a need for speed sounded kind of sexy.  Alas, Speed Dating dashed that dream, too.

dating tips, speed dating, relationships, life hacks, advice, Speed, Sandra Bullock, humor, Modern PhilosopherSlow and steady still wins the race.  From what I could tell after several hours of research, Speed Dating still rewards the guys who take their time to get to know someone and see if there is true chemistry worthy of a long term relationship.

Despite what the name might imply, Speed Dating isn’t at all about rushing through the dating process and heading to the altar.  I was happy to learn this because getting to know someone is most of the fun of dating.  Why anyone would want to speed through that is beyond me.

I hope these Dating Tips come in handy.  And if you don’t have a date this weekend, maybe you should just stay home and watch Speed.  It really is a great flick…

Don’t forget to follow me on my blog and on Pinterest.  And if you’re a single woman interested in getting to know a slightly odd blogger with a quirky sense of humor, please let me know in the comments section.

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Dating, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Intriguing Insights Into Speed Dating

  1. Lisa Orchard says:

    Great post! Thanks for the chuckle!

  2. Ocean Bream says:

    Nice one, Austin. I loved the movie Speed when I was younger.

  3. umashankar says:

    And how have the humans fallen! While I may be smitten by dating speeds envisioned in Jane Austen’s crawling world, you seem to be smitten by Sandra Bullock of the fag end of the 20th Century. It is a fire and forget, snap date world today, is it not?

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  5. Louise says:

    already told you i think your terrific. but you don’t want to move to Australia.

  6. Well if that isn’t a load of Bullocks.. 😀

  7. I so hope I never have to speed date or any kind of date ever again. But if I do, I’ll think about this post. Too funny!

  8. Ficklefifty says:

    Lordy, I’m glad I don’t have to date anymore. Very entertaining post and yes, Speed, was a great movie.

  9. Hehe loved this post. I went to a silent dating event on Wed – would love to see a write up like yours about it. It’s called shhh dating. Check it out on my blog 😀

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