When The Words Won’t Come Out

writing, philosophy, humor, taking a mental break, enjoying the silence, Modern PhilosopherIt has been ridiculously quiet on the blog this week, Modern Philosophers, and I hope at some of you noticed.

While the stats tell me I have over 17,000 followers, I accept that there’s really only about a dozen of you out there reading this blog on a regular basis.  The other folks are either figments of my imagination, your various alter egos, or the quietest group of 16,988 people in existence!

I’ve never taken an entire week off from blogging, and while this move wasn’t planned at first, I decided to go with it as the week progressed and my brain showed no desire to conjure up any silly stories for you.

As much as I love blogging, it’s become a bit of a chore lately.  I pour my heart and soul into these stories, and there’s been very little feedback for all that effort.  Not as many people are reading the posts, and the seeming lack of interest in my words has made me rethink how much time I put into this endeavor.

My failure to write wasn’t just about declining readership, however.  I’ve been keeping to myself in all aspects of my life.  My current philosophy is to keep my head down, my mouth closed, and go about my business while drawing as little attention as possible.

As always, my big brain is running on full speed.  I’m just not allowing the words to come out because sometimes they cause more trouble than I can handle.

Ever since that deposition a few weeks ago, I’ve withdrawn somewhat from the world.  I finally grew tired of having my words put under a microscope, analyzed to death, and twisted in ways that they were not intended.

writing, philosophy, humor, taking a mental break, enjoying the silence, Modern PhilosopherI concluded that if I didn’t speak at all, my words could not be used against me.

If I didn’t put my words down on paper, no one could dispute what I had to say.

If I just kept the words trapped inside my head, like a genie in a bottle, I would never have to worry about any repercussions.

Of course, even in silence, I managed to upset people.

Some of my friends have been complaining and teasing me that my silence is penalizing them because I’m not as much fun anymore.  While I do feel bad about denying the world access to my wit, humor, and charm, I think that going full mime is the path of least anxiety these days.

Truth be told, I don’t always like to be cast as the comedic lead.  Sometimes, I just want to read for the role of the strong, silent type, and not have to worry about learning any lines and always being on my game.

Plus, I’d like to do more stunt work.  I need a little excitement in my life, and the funny guy never gets to do anything dangerous and bad ass.

And we all know it’s the hero, not the clown, who gets the gal in the end.

Obviously, I’m ready to free some of the words from their exile.  And, no, I didn’t decide to write a post tonight because the interns have been driving me mad by relentlessly pestering me to blog again.

writing, philosophy, humor, taking a mental break, enjoying the silence, Modern PhilosopherThey claim they don’t get college credit if they simply sit around The House on the Hill all day watching me refuse to write.  Apparently, I’m supposed to be teaching them about writing to the masses, running a blog empire, and turning my crazy thoughts into marketable screenplays.

Oddly enough, I found inspiration to release the words tonight when I went grocery shopping after work.  As I shopped in silence, I crossed paths with the person who inspired my last screenplay.

That script has been sitting on my laptop, untouched since I finished the first draft several months ago.

I’m not quite sure why I abandoned it, but I would guess it had something to do with the paralyzing fear of failure that sometimes overwhelms me when I finish a screenplay.

Now that the words are all bottled up inside my brain, tackling that script might be the perfect way to release some of the pressure and allow the words to roam free again.  No one else can read it, so I don’t have to worry about any harmful side effects of a multitude of free range words running wild through The House on the Hill.

I must warn you, however, that I do retain the right to remain silent, so enjoy my words while they are out there for all the universe to ponder…

Follow me on my blog and on Pinterest is case I decide to write again!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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29 Responses to When The Words Won’t Come Out

  1. MrsFitts says:

    You’ve been a little less quite lately, which is nice. You do you, no judgement here. I do have to slightly disagree, the funny guy can get the gal in the end…just ask my husband.

    • Austin says:

      Sometimes, the words tumble out through my ears and nose. I can’t control them. Plus I don’t want the triangle to crumble because I’ll never get goat’s milk or monkey bread again… 🙂

  2. I believe those were some of the most poignant words I’ve ever heard from someone who isn’t speaking. Write because you’re great at it, followers be damned (but I’m guessing you already know that).

  3. umashankar says:

    It has been said by the best in the craft that blogs are best written for oneself.

  4. April Munday says:

    Most women like men who make them laugh.

  5. Well, I’m glad that I arrived back here just in time for your return. After taking a serious break from the blogosphere myself, I can’t say that I blame you for taking a few steps back. You put a huge amount of effort into maintaining this space and deserve some downtime. That said, I’m finding it hard to believe that your words get you into trouble, perhaps it’s not the words that are the problem. Anyway, glad to have you back, don’t keep too much bottled up.

  6. grannyK says:

    I agree you should write for yourself! I bet as soon as you start trying to write things that please others, it gets very hard and job-like. I have been missing in chunks over the last couple of months. Life is just too busy to find time lately! Write what you want, and when you want!

  7. SD Gates says:

    I am glad to hear from you!!! It does seem that the old bloggers (well, except for some of them – who seem to blog MULTIPLE times during a day) have been quieter as of late. I don’t know why. But it is exciting to see the less verbose (and more interesting bloggers) show up on my Reader.

  8. Ooooo my dear giggleman, the sorrow of being a clown. You’re right when you cast your words before this gal, it is pearls before swine. However this ms piggy enjoys the pearls; so do what you must but I’ll be here if you find your pearls again. Work on that screen play, can’t be any less fulfilling than posting with no feedback. ~~dru~~

  9. Louise says:

    i did miss the regular wit BUT I realised with the death of your brother and the subsequent emotional tool of thoughts and heartache , that death piles on us, I do not dislike the fact you have been quiet. I think with everything that has been going on in your life it was probably about time for your to take time out from us.
    Loved the Sunday story where Lucifer showed you how it could be…was maybe that a bit of a cathartic push. to rest up for awhile?? love you form down under. xx its ok and it will be.

  10. Good for you having the strength to step back from blogging. It can lose its shine at times. I have found a folder full of draft posts has helped me. When I am not feeling the blogging love I post stuff from my draft folder.

  11. GP Cox says:

    I understand. I found that many [upon hundreds] of my “followers” have abandoned or taken down their sites, so of course, they don’t visit every post [none]. And during the summer, I always see a drop in readership, which I suspect should be expected. But I do have a great group that does actually come by, talk to me and each other – and frankly – I can’t complain!!!!

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