While the stats tell me I have over 17,000 followers, I accept that there’s really only about a dozen of you out there reading this blog on a regular basis. The other folks are either figments of my imagination, your various alter egos, or the quietest group of 16,988 people in existence!
I’ve never taken an entire week off from blogging, and while this move wasn’t planned at first, I decided to go with it as the week progressed and my brain showed no desire to conjure up any silly stories for you.
As much as I love blogging, it’s become a bit of a chore lately. I pour my heart and soul into these stories, and there’s been very little feedback for all that effort. Not as many people are reading the posts, and the seeming lack of interest in my words has made me rethink how much time I put into this endeavor.
My failure to write wasn’t just about declining readership, however. I’ve been keeping to myself in all aspects of my life. My current philosophy is to keep my head down, my mouth closed, and go about my business while drawing as little attention as possible.
As always, my big brain is running on full speed. I’m just not allowing the words to come out because sometimes they cause more trouble than I can handle.
Ever since that deposition a few weeks ago, I’ve withdrawn somewhat from the world. I finally grew tired of having my words put under a microscope, analyzed to death, and twisted in ways that they were not intended.
If I didn’t put my words down on paper, no one could dispute what I had to say.
If I just kept the words trapped inside my head, like a genie in a bottle, I would never have to worry about any repercussions.
Of course, even in silence, I managed to upset people.
Some of my friends have been complaining and teasing me that my silence is penalizing them because I’m not as much fun anymore. While I do feel bad about denying the world access to my wit, humor, and charm, I think that going full mime is the path of least anxiety these days.
Truth be told, I don’t always like to be cast as the comedic lead. Sometimes, I just want to read for the role of the strong, silent type, and not have to worry about learning any lines and always being on my game.
Plus, I’d like to do more stunt work. I need a little excitement in my life, and the funny guy never gets to do anything dangerous and bad ass.
And we all know it’s the hero, not the clown, who gets the gal in the end.
Obviously, I’m ready to free some of the words from their exile. And, no, I didn’t decide to write a post tonight because the interns have been driving me mad by relentlessly pestering me to blog again.
They claim they don’t get college credit if they simply sit around The House on the Hill all day watching me refuse to write. Apparently, I’m supposed to be teaching them about writing to the masses, running a blog empire, and turning my crazy thoughts into marketable screenplays.
Oddly enough, I found inspiration to release the words tonight when I went grocery shopping after work. As I shopped in silence, I crossed paths with the person who inspired my last screenplay.
That script has been sitting on my laptop, untouched since I finished the first draft several months ago.
I’m not quite sure why I abandoned it, but I would guess it had something to do with the paralyzing fear of failure that sometimes overwhelms me when I finish a screenplay.
Now that the words are all bottled up inside my brain, tackling that script might be the perfect way to release some of the pressure and allow the words to roam free again. No one else can read it, so I don’t have to worry about any harmful side effects of a multitude of free range words running wild through The House on the Hill.
I must warn you, however, that I do retain the right to remain silent, so enjoy my words while they are out there for all the universe to ponder…
Follow me on my blog and on Pinterest is case I decide to write again!