Surviving Mother’s Day

Mother's Day, coping with loss, family, life hacks, advice, philosophy, Modern PhilosopherI’ll start off this post on a positive note by wishing everyone a Happy Mother’s Day, Modern Philosophers.

The truth of the matter, however, is that not everyone celebrates this holiday.  For some of us, Mother’s Day is a very painful day to endure.

My Mom died when I was three, and I have absolutely no memory of her.  But every Mother’s Day, I am reminded of my loss.  I don’t want to ruin the holiday for anyone else, so I try to keep to myself and just survive the day.

I know I’m not the only only struggling to get through this day, so I thought I’d write about how I cope.

Today is one of the few days of the year when I don’t mind being alone.  Since I don’t have to worry about bringing down a significant other on what might be a joyous day for her, I can hole up in the safety of The House on the Hill and just do my thing.

This year, Mother’s Day is gloomy and rainy, which is actually helpful.  It’s a lot easier to deal with the sadness when the weather already has you in that sort of mood.  It’s such a waste to be glum on a beautiful Spring day, but no worries about that here.

Since it’s Sunday, there is absolutely no reason for me to have to interact with another person.  If I had to go to work, I might have a hard time putting on a happy face, or explaining why I’m not all cheery like everyone else.

The first rule of surviving Mother’s Day is to avoid Facebook.  I made the mistake of checking my news feed this morning, and it was filled with happy, positive messages and photos of my friends with their Moms.  Again, I wish no one ill will on this day, but seeing all that love and happiness really makes the pain of my loss worse.

Mother's Day, coping with loss, family, life hacks, advice, philosophy, Modern PhilosopherI recommend going for a long run.  I didn’t care that it was raining, and actually welcomed the downpour because it meant no one else was going to be out on my route.  I just put my head down, pulled my hood up, and lost myself in the activity.

I was too focused on the pain in my aching muscles and how many steps I had on my fitness tracker to think about what today was.

Working in the kitchen is another perfect was to keep my mind busy.  I whipped up a huge breakfast to reward myself for my run and this week’s weight loss.

Let me interject here that I have now lost 22 lbs since I started my new fitness program on April 1!  I am thrilled with that number, and the excitement of today’s weigh in definitely helped to improve my mood.

After breakfast, I set to work on preparing my meal for the week.  I’ve been trying to come up with new healthy recipes to help me with my weight loss.  Today, I put together a meal that includes chicken, potatoes, peppers, mushrooms, and onions all marinated in chicken broth and then baked.

I’ll serve that over brown rice and maybe even add a side salad.  I wasn’t quite sure about what to expect, but this is what I found when I pulled the baking pan out of the oven…

Mother's Day, coping with loss, family, life hacks, advice, philosophy, Modern PhilosopherNot bad, right?  I can’t wait to try it for dinner all week.

Obviously, I have writing to take my mind off of today’s festivities.  I’ve used this activity as an escape ever since I was a little boy dealing with bullies at school and an overbearing stepmother at home.  It still works today.  All I need to do is open up the laptop, and my mind immediately races off to someplace much more exciting than here.  I don’t know how I’d cope with life if it weren’t for writing.

I definitely advise you to find a good book.  A rainy day like today is perfect for just curling up on the couch and reading.  I plan to do exactly that after I’m finished with this post.  The latest Jack Ryan adventure, which is thicker than a phone book, awaits me.

Later, I will turn to my heroes for comfort.  Not only are my beloved Yankees on ESPN tonight, but before the game, they are retiring Derek Jeter’s number.  I cannot wait to watch the ceremony and the game.  No one does pomp and circumstance as well as the New York Yankees.

Then it will be time for bed, and I will have survived another Mother’s Day.  Life doesn’t have to be that complicated when you have a plan…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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22 Responses to Surviving Mother’s Day

  1. I use the “LIKE” button with reservations. Sorry for you gloom giggle man but you seem to have a good handle on it and the week long meals look scrumptious. My mother is gone too and I’ve never been a mother so I don’t have the euphoria that others do either but then again, if it is any help you are not rowing this boat alone. ~~dru~~

  2. iancaimercer says:

    It has been hard in the past.

    Today I’ve been focussing on photos and videos, catching up on Big Bang Theory/Attack on Titan and the Blacklist, so it’s not been too bad. Thanks for posting.

  3. Pingback: mothers day | Iancaimercer's Blog

  4. For some reason, up to this point I assumed you lived in NYC. But the neighborhood behind you in that picture looks like New Jersey. Am I right or have I been away from the Tri-State area for too long?

  5. tric says:

    Yes even the worst day is only one day long, just do what you must to get through. Losing a mother so young is tough as is a lifetime without one. I do hope though that you were much loved in those three years, enough to last you a lifetime. If something happened to me that is what I’d wish my children to know.

  6. I lost my mother 10 years ago this year and so Mother’s Day is hard for me too. I was fortunate to have her much longer than you had your Mom, Austin. Sorry for your loss.

  7. ksbeth says:

    yes, i think these holidays are always different experiences for different people. i’m glad you made it through and it sounds like you used some really good strategies to pass the time. on to groundhog day!

  8. So sorry for your loss. No words can ease your pain but hopefully knowing the support that surrounds you can help you through this difficult time. Always here, anytime.

  9. Louise says:

    i was never close to my mother, she finally succumbed to brain cancer last year. so like you and others i see no real reason to make a song and dance about the day. Here in Australia the day is one marked by our biggest Charity fundraiser – the Breast cancer network holds fun runs in all the cities and major regional towns. so in a way it is for those who are alive and those who have passed type charity event. I ,like you, read a mushy chick flick romance book and finished knitting a jumper for a friend. it was cold and was best spent indoors not doing much kinda day. I also trawled through pinterest and up dated some of my boards.

    • Austin says:

      In America, all the baseball teams where pink in their uniforms and use pink bats to honor breast cancer awareness. Seeing the Yankees in pink is a bit unnerving even if it is for a good cause!

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