Fat Boy Slimming

fitness, exercise, running, weight loss, health, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhy, yes, I have lost some weight, Modern Philosophers.  Thanks so much for noticing!

I’ve been as giddy as a schoolgirl at a One Direction Concert about the recent success of my new fitness program, but I’m also a Glum Gus because no one has told me I look thinner.

Come on, people.  I’ve lost 22 lbs.  You’ve got to see some kind of difference!

When I saw The Other Melissa recently, I asked her if she could tell I’ve lost weight (primarily since she had pointed out that I had put on weight during our three years apart).  She just shrugged and told me I always wear baggy sweats so it was hard to tell.

Doesn’t she get how friendship works?  You tell the Fat Boy he looks slimmer in order to encourage him to work harder at it.  Especially when you are an extremely attractive woman because your words will obviously inspire him even more.

I don’t know what’s wrong with her.  But I digress…

Mel did have a point, though.  I had taken to camouflaging my weight gain by wearing baggy clothes.  I was embarrassed and felt horrible about how I looked, so I did my best to hide it so I could still go out in public.

Well, go out as much as an introvert like me feels comfortable doing.

fitness, exercise, running, weight loss, health, humor, Modern PhilosopherNow that I’ve lost 22 lbs, I have noticed that my Fat Boy clothes are on the verge of becoming too humongous for me.  I’m on the next to last notch on my belt, and I’m pretty sure I could hide a frozen turkey under my shirt.

I’m hesitant to pull the Thinner Guy clothes out of mothballs, though.  First off, mothballs stink, and it’s difficult to get that stench out of clothes.  Second, and more importantly, I’m afraid I’m going to jinx things.  I’m strangely superstitious.

What if I start wearing a smaller size, get cocky and lazy, and then everything gets tight again in a couple of week?  I’d rather have my clothes billow wildly in the Spring wind than anger the Weight Loss Gods at this point.

I suppose this means that I just have to accept that no one is going to notice my weight loss and I’ll have to live without compliments a little longer.

I guess I can handle that.  Besides, I’ve heard that compliments are high in calories.

Speaking of how in calories, do you have any idea how badly I’m craving an ice cream sundae right now?  The temperature shot into the 70s today, and I went for a long walk on my lunch break.  Mind you, that’s after I went for a three and a half mile run this morning.

And that, Modern Philosophers, is how you lose 22 lbs!

But back to my ice cream story.  After that long walk in the heat, I was perspiring a tad and wanted to cool off quickly.

fitness, exercise, running, weight loss, health, humor, Modern PhilosopherAnd what better way to lower one’s body temperature than by devouring a bucket of ice cream?

Luckily, self control won out.  Well, self control and the fact that I was trapped at work with no access to ice cream.

I have not had even a scoop of ice cream since I started my torture…I mean…fitness program.   That sort of self control is necessary if I ever want to wear my Thinner Guy clothes again, so I am very proud of myself.

But I still want some ice cream.  And a few compliments.

Is that really too much to ask?  I know I’m doing this for me and to improve my health, but a few pats on the back and some encouragement would definitely push me to work harder.

Especially if those compliments were to come from the ladies.  As hard as it is to believe, this neurotic mess of a man is still very single.

Working hard on changing that, too.  Trust me.

Alright, I need to wrap up this post so I stop salivating over that pic of the ice cream sundae.  Thanks for indulging me for several hundred words.  Talk to you soon…

You should follow my blog.  I’m on Pinterest, too!  Don’t give me any ice cream, though, no matter how much I pester you for it!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Fitness, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Fat Boy Slimming

  1. cbiz50 says:

    Ice cream does not cool you off. Try fruit ice pops. Also I suggest finding a sale and getting a few new outfits. You will feel better about yourself and the compliments will flow. I am a lifelong eating disorder person (still struggling) and throughly understand the psychology in weight loss. Btw congrats on your fitness journey and your remarkable discipline.

  2. Bonsai says:

    That’s a shame no one has noticed. Sometimes I am unsure whether or not someone has lost poundage, but I figure why not say something complimentary. You can’t miss with a, “You are looking really healthy these days” sort of comment.

  3. lollowe says:

    Put on the thin clothes & bin the baggies. I lost 50lbs last year after years of being overweight. Some of its crept back on but the advice I stick to is don’t buy bigger clothes when yours get too small, use it as your motivation to lose weight so your clothes fit comfortably. Good luck 😊

  4. Everyone craves an “atta boy” once in awhile, calories or no. So sight unseen but based on your apparent honesty about the 22lbs – ATTa BOY!
    Start dusting off and airing out those slim boy clothes and debut them for Memorial Day.
    ~~dru~~

  5. Way to go with the weight loss!

    I always struggle with this because I struggle to give compliments in general (I think of them, just don’t verbalize) and I don’t want people to think that the only thing I notice about them is their physique.

  6. So long as you’re happy and healthy, that’s all that matters – and you look to be both! 🙂

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