Trump Hires Aaron Sorkin To Script His Next 100 Days

Donald Trump, Aaron Sorkin, Jed Bartlet, The West Wing, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherIn response to his plummeting approval ratings, President Trump has made the bold move to hire award winning writer Aaron Sorkin to script the next one hundred days of his Presidency, Modern Philosophers.

“Aaron is an amazing writer,” Trump told the White House Press Corps after growing bored with Twitter.  “He almost made Mark Zuckerberg look sympathetic, which is no small feat if you know the guy like I do.  He won an Oscar for that, and no one has ever deserved an Oscar more.”

Trump was alluding to the 2010 film The Social Network, which detailed how Zuckerberg created Facebook.

Sorkin won the Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay for his script.

“But I didn’t hire Aaron because he wrote about Facebook,” Trump explained.  “Facebook is filled with fake news, so I don’t like it.  Never use it.  And no one will ever accept my requests to play Words With Friends.  I asked Aaron to join Team Trump because of the amazing work he did work for my dear friend, Jed Bartlet.”

“Jed and I go way back.  I went to his Inauguration.  It was lovely.  Not as many people as there were at mine, but still a big crowd.  Almost huge, but not quite.  America loved Jed.  They stuck with him through good times and bad.  No one blamed Jed when his son Charlie went off the rails with the hookers, the drugs, and the mean comments about Duckie.  The country never blamed the President for the actions of his family.”

Donald Trump, Aaron Sorkin, Jed Bartlet, The West Wing, politics, satire, humor, Modern Philosopher“I’ve been taking a lot of heat in the press lately.  I blame you.  Pretty soon, you’ll all be banned from the White House.  Until I can figure out how to do that, though, I’m going to have Aaron come in, rewrite the narrative, get my character’s arc back on track, and maybe even figure out a way I can do some action stuff to look like a real hero.”

“Jed Bartlet was beloved mostly because he had Aaron Sorkin plotting out his every move. Until now, I’ve had Steven Bannon doing that for me,” Trump said with a heavy sigh.  “I think you are going to see some big changes.  My Presidency is going to get a huge boost in the ratings.  Maybe even win an Emmy.  You all loved Obama.  Treated him like he was some sort of god, but Obama never won an Emmy.”

Aaron Sorkin was not available for comment, but according to multiple sources, he was seen laughing maniacally all the way to the bank.

President Jed Bartlet issued the following statement: “I am a fictional character, and it worries me that the President of the United States does not seem to realize that.  If he was at my Inauguration, it was only as an extra.  And there is absolutely no way that President Trump’s actual Inauguration had a larger attendance than my make believe one.  Aaron Sorkin, the greatest writer I’ve ever known, would never have scripted it that way.”

Donald Trump, Aaron Sorkin, Jed Bartlet, The West Wing, politics, satire, humor, Modern PhilosopherBeleaguered White House Press Secretary  Sean Spicer told this Modern Philosopher that he looked forward to working with Aaron Sorkin because “it would be nice to finally know what to say and how to act when I’m up at the podium”.

Spicer was also very excited about the opportunity to meet his idol, C.J. Cregg.

Check your local listings for Sorkin’s take on the Trump Presidency.  New episodes cannot come soon enough if you ask me…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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17 Responses to Trump Hires Aaron Sorkin To Script His Next 100 Days

  1. Is Charlie Sheen a friend of Trumps? it seems like he would be. Why do I not know who Charlie Sheen supported in this election?

  2. micketalbot says:

    I am leaving a ‘reply’ and a ‘comment’. do you think Trump will understand?

  3. Sorkin also wrote the screenplay for “The American President.” Maybe Trump is hoping there will be some romance thrown into the next 100 days. Perhaps Melania will stop slapping his hand away and throw him a look of semi-like instead of disgust? (Although, the hand slap is the best Melania moment thus far.)

  4. I was certain this was satire until the part Sean Spicer bit. That blurred the line. I’m sure he really would enjoy the peace of mind that would come with Sorkin writing the next 100 days. It may not all be smooth going, but it wouldn’t be barely controlled chaos.

  5. davidprosser says:

    Things can only get better. Ha who am I kidding, this is Trump.

  6. This reminds me of the very powerful and moving letter Sorkin published (addressed to his daughters), on the day after the election.

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