I Am Becoming The Flash

The Flash, Barry Allen, Caitlin Snow, running, health, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherMaybe the title of this post would be a cool headline for my online dating profile, Modern Philosophers.

I mean, I don’t want the ladies to think I’m super fast at everything.  Obviously, there are some things in life better enjoyed when taken slowly.

But what woman wouldn’t want to date a superhero?

Especially a handsome devil like Barry Allen.  And we know from his days on Glee, that The Flash can sing.  Which makes me wonder if he’s crooning while he’s zipping along at such high speeds.

But I’m getting off track here.  This post is about me, The Modern Philosopher Who Would Be The Flash.

As you can see from the above photo, I look good with that famous lightning bolt across my chest.  And after what transpired on the Season Finale of The Flash, the world is in need of another speedster to fill in while Barry is trapped in the Speed Force.

I’m more than happy to step in, Modern Philosophers.  I’m eager to do my part to save the world, I think I’d look really good in the full Flash outfit, and I would love to pal around with the members of Team Flash.

Of course, there is one Friend of Flash I’m anxious to meet more than the others.

My superhero crush.  Well, I guess she’s more of a super villain at this point, but some times, she’s just the gorgeous, nerdy, super doc who’s always there for our hero.

The Flash, Barry Allen, Caitlin Snow, running, health, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherCaitlin Snow.

As much as I hate snow from all my winters in Maine, the Caitlin variety is absolutely acceptable to this future superhero.

Since Caitlin is a little distracted right now as she deals with her Killer Frost alter ego, I would have plenty of time to date when I’m not fighting crime.  Obviously, I wouldn’t be able to tell my dates that I was The Flash, but I think that my inner superhero would shine through and give me a much needed boost in self-confidence.

Why do I think I’m becoming The Flash?

Ever since I upgraded my fitness tracker to the FitBit Blaze, I’ve been better able to analyze my runs by linking the device to the Map My Run app.

On every run since I’ve had the Blaze, my average pace has gotten faster.  Mind you, I’m not at The Flash’s level yet, and I won’t be winning any Olympic track and field gold medals any time soon, but I am getting faster.

This morning, I posted my fastest 5K time in the ten weeks since I started my new workout program, and my second mile was the fastest I’ve run since I’ve been tracking my splits.

Is it all becoming clearer now, Modern Philosophers?

The Flash, Barry Allen, Caitlin Snow, running, health, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherI’ve given this a lot of Deep Thought and  done numerous calculations.  I’ve concluded that if I continue to push myself hard every time I run, and then figure out how to get caught in a particle accelerator explosion, I will be running neck and neck with Barry Allen before I know it.

Until then, I can confidently say that I have earned the right to wear my Flash shirt.

I am becoming The Flash with every long, steady stride I take out there on the road.

I am becoming The Flash every morning that I drag my exhausted butt out of bed and go for a run just as the sun is waking up for the day.

I am becoming The Flash every time I look in the mirror and see a thinner, healthier, more confident version of myself smiling back at me.

Now that I think about it, Modern Philosophers, perhaps I already am The Flash.

The Flash, Barry Allen, Caitlin Snow, running, health, dating, humor, Modern PhilosopherI don’t expect you to keep up with me now that I am The Flash, but you can at least follow me… here on the blog and also on Twitter and Pinterest.

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Dating, Fitness, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to I Am Becoming The Flash

  1. V Donovan says:

    I hope you’re smarter than him too because dang, Barry is the worst decision maker in the entire Arrowverse and probably several other Earths too.

  2. Another proven technique for running faster is to shove dog treats in your pocket! In all seriousness, congrats. Feels good to run fast!

  3. You’re a FitBit Blazer now. And I don’t think you should be so quick to “settle” for Caitlin Snow. I mean, you’re quickly approaching superhero status right?

  4. I love it! The world needs more super heroes, I think.

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