O how I abhor it,
When foolish mortals,
A species who wasted
The gift of Free Will,
And is on the verge
Of destroying the planet
With which they were gifted,
Try to tell me,
The Prince of Darkness
And Ruler of Eternal Hellfire,
That the current temperature
Is hot as Hell!
Such imbeciles!
Why do they speak
With such confidence
About things of which
They have absolutely no knowledge?
The coldest corner of Hell
Is exponentially hotter
Than the warmest place
On the precious planet
They seem absolutely hellbent
On demolishing!
Stop inserting the name
Of my beloved kingdom,
Which will still be here
Long after you have all
Returned to the dust,
Into your weather reports!
You have no concept
Of how hot it is
In Hell,
But mark my words,
That will change
For so many of you
In the coming years!
Speak not of Hell again,
For you are not worthy
To have its name
On your pathetic lips.
“Wow, you really do paint quite the picture with your words,” I told the Devil after I’d finally finished his poem.
“Do you truly mean that?” Lucifer asked anxiously and finally stopped pacing.
While he was well dressed, as always, in an impeccably tailored suit, he did look a little rumpled today. I guess the uncertainty of how an audience will respond to your writing affects everyone differently.
I took a long sip of my Snapple as I mentally formulated a reply to his question.
“There’s no doubt that you have a clear vision, a distinct voice, and a masterful control of words,” I answered as ambiguously as possible.
Poetry really isn’t my thing, as many of you know from reading the poems I’ve posted on this blog. All I knew was that it didn’t rhyme, so it was the kind of poem that’s supposed to create a mental image for the reader.
At the moment, the only mental image I had was of The Prince of Darkness standing over me, with a look of uncontrolled rage on his handsome face, as he drove his pitchfork angrily into my chest because I stupidly told him I thought his poem was weird.
So I just gave him some nonsensical feedback and hoped that would be enough.
“Is there any chance you’d ever post it on your blog?” Satan asked with hope in his voice and a nervous smile on his lips.
I chugged the rest of my Snapple and pondered his query.
“How about I run it today instead of our usual Sunday short story?” I offered and then silently prayed that this would be the last item he ever submitted to the blog.
“You’d really do that for me?” The Devil asked, obviously touched by my gesture.
“Sure,” I assured him. “It’s hot as Hell today and I really don’t have the energy to write anything myself.”
Lucifer glared at me and shook his head in disapproval, but he dared not say anything because he was afraid I’d change my mind about publishing his poem.
Follow me on my blog and on Pinterest, or I will publish even more of The Devil’s horrible poetry!
Reblogged this on Lies, Liars, Beatniks & Hippies and commented:
A bit of humor at the expense of Ol’ Scratch
Tell the Devil I thought his poetry………..was fine. Should keep him off my back a while longer. To be fair to him, he’s right about us.Rather kill each other than preserve the planet for generations to come.
Hugs
Don’t worry…he is definitely reading the comments section on this post. 🙂
I don’t know poetry but I know what I like, and I like the concept of this blog post!
I don’t know poetry, either, as you can tell from my writing. 😉
The Devil visits The House on the Hill every Sunday, so make sure you come back each week for the next adventure! 🙂
Oh, yea. I know Lucifer’s schedule – I’m his private secretary…..(where’s a damn emoji when you need one?!)
Oh, my gosh, Austin! I posted as Latitude39 – that’s actually a blog I run for a business – crap! Any suggestions about how to keep out of trouble on this one? LOL
Now The Devil knows your secret identity…
Reblogged this on World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum..