When The Car Won’t Start

car problems, stress, life, humor, Modern PhilosopherThe day was off to such a promising start, Modern Philosophers.

I had a really good run, and felt rather Barry Allen-esque after it was done.

When I weighed myself, I discovered that I was the lightest I’ve been in a very long time.  I don’t often use a form of the word “light” when describing my weight.

A coworker had given me a dozen fresh eggs yesterday, so I fried one to make a yummy post-run breakfast.

Since I am off on Friday, today was more like a Beyond Hump Day, than the actual middle of the work week.

So I left The House on the Hill in a very good mood.

Didn’t get too far after that, though.

My car wouldn’t start.  It was perfectly fine last night when I tucked it away in the garage, but this morning, things were different.

I kept turning the key, and the dashboard would light up, but that familiar “VROOM VROOM” noise that tells me I can go, never hit my ears.

car problems, stress, life, humor, Modern Philosopher, profanity laced tiradesSeveral curses did, though.  And they were good ones.  I never get cheated in that regard when it’s time to show off my extensive vocabulary of profanity.

I called my boss, explained the situation, and apologized profusely.  I never miss work, so she wasn’t upset, but I was.

Because I never miss work.

Now I’ll have to hang something else in the space I had cleared on my study wall for my Perfect Attendance Award.

What frustrated me next was the fact that my mechanic is just down the block.  I could literally walk there in three minutes (collecting approximately 325 steps in the process!), but I had no way to get my car there.

Was I really going to have to call a tow truck to take me down the block?

UGH!!!

So I did what anyone else in a fit of rage would do.  I cursed some more, and then kept turning the key over and over.

Of course, I tried using the Jedi Mind Trick as well to will the car to start.

And it finally sputtered to life (Yay!  I really am a Jedi!).  I zipped down the block, left the car running outside of the mechanic’s because I was afraid it wouldn’t start again, and ran inside to plead my case.

car problems, stress, life, humor, Modern Philosopher

That’s not me in the photo!

The parking lot was packed with cars, but I am a longtime customer, so Eric graciously agreed to look at my vehicle at some point.

I walked home and began the next stage of The Car Won’t Start Grief: Stressing over what is wrong and how much it was going to cost to fix it.

I’ve been doing such a good job at keeping my stress levels under control lately.

The unexpected financial stresses that sneak up on you and kick you solidly in the rump just when you think you’re finally doing well, are the ones that wildly screw with the fragile balance between sanity and whatever the hell you call it when I go ape $%^& over something that is completely out of my control.

I’m trying not to let it bother me.

Honest.

I’ve been reading out on the porch and enjoying the lovely weather.

I’ve already gone for a couple of walks.

Now I’m writing.

car problems, stress, life, humor, Modern PhilosopherBut in the back of my mind, I keep wondering when Eric is going to call, what the verdict is going to be, and how many of my internal organs I’m going to have to sell to pay for it.

It was shaping up to be such a promising day, Modern Philosophers.  Let’s just hope that this one doesn’t careen too far off the tracks…

Does anyone want to give me a ride?  I will chip in for gas and serenade you with whatever songs are playing on the car’s radio…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to When The Car Won’t Start

  1. tsblackburn says:

    Boooooo, it sucks when your car no go. I hope it’s a quick/easy/cheap fix for you.

  2. So sorry for your car troubles! Hope everything works out.

  3. ksbeth says:

    that is the worst ! hopefully the outcome is not as bad as you may be expecting –

  4. Ugh those unexpected expenses are honestly the worst! Hope the damage isn’t too bad!

  5. I would happily give you a ride, but the only constant mode of transportation I have is a garden cart in Maryland.
    I understand your frustration. My boiler sprang a leak. The expense was enough to buy a used car (really used) but I prefer hot water and heat in the winter. Good luck, hopefully it won’t be difficult to get you moving.

  6. Try out more of your Jedi powers! (Swiping Hand) Eric, you want to charge me seven dollars and thirty-three cents. You also want to spell your name with a “k”.

  7. Pingback: $36 Worth Of Stress | The Return of the Modern Philosopher

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