A Stranger In An Even Stranger Land

writing, life, chasing the dream, work, humor, Modern PhilosopherI found myself in a strange, mysterious land this morning, Modern Philosophers, and all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there.

I felt so out of place, sensed in my bones that I did not belong, and feared that if I didn’t find my way home quickly, I would end up trapped there forever.

I was, of course, at work.

Now work is not usually such a foreign place to me, but I had been off on Friday and had missed work Wednesday because of car issues.

Without a doubt, thought, the office seemed so different to me today.

I think it had to do with how I spent my long weekend.

I got into a rhythm of living an entirely different life.  Every day, I slept in, went for a long run, cooked a huge breakfast, and then spent the day writing, reading a great book, watching the Yankees, and going for walks.

I worked on the rewrite of my new screenplay, had a great conversation with a friend who was rewriting her screenplay, wrote for the blog, and had a couple of long chats with Danny about some new responsibilities for The Nite Show (I’m really exciting about this and hope it happens!).

I was in full writer mode with a minor in fitness.

Basically, I was living the life I’ve always wanted.

Bouncing back and worth between the screenplay, the blog, and The Nite Show had me fully engaged as Writer Guy.  There was never a dull moment all weekend because the creative juices were constantly flowing.

When I needed a break from writing, I’d go for a long run or walk.  I was constantly exercising either my brain or my body.

It was perfect.

An entirely different world from sitting at a desk for eight hours, hardly moving, rarely having a creative thought, and sulking as life passes me by.

writing, life, chasing the dream, work, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhereas reality usually bites, this reality was awesome.  What’s your glitch?

When I had to report to my desk this morning, and leave all my creative ideas back at The House on the Hill, I felt like a complete stranger.

The land around me looked foreign.

Where was my laptop?  Where were the notes I’d scribbled down for the next couple of scenes in the screenplay?  Where were my post-it notes of blog post ideas?  Why was the phone ringing relentlessly?  Who were all these people asking me so many questions?

I had on my sneakers, so the urge to bolt for the door and run until I found myself someplace more familiar was overwhelming.

At one point, I swear I could hear my internal Writer Guy let out a long sigh of defeat.  Immediately after that, it’s like a window slammed closed in my brain and the constant flow of new story ideas stopped without any warning.

I was trapped in this strange land, and I didn’t feel quite myself.

Did this mean a new me is beginning to emerge?

We already know he’s skinnier, healthier, and a bit more positive.  Is he also a full time writer?  A man who chases down his dream and gets to live it?

writing, life, chasing the dream, work, humor, Modern PhilosopherEven tonight, I’ve collected over 6,000 steps since I’ve emigrated from the strange land.  I’ve been out on the porch writing this post while also engaged in online conversations about writing with my screenwriting friend and a writer friend in England.

This is my new normal.  This is the new, true me.

I am at home.  I am happy.  Hopefully, I can eventually stop going off to that strange land every day.

I no longer want to be a stranger in my own life.  This is exactly who and where I need to be…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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18 Responses to A Stranger In An Even Stranger Land

  1. lifepunchesback says:

    Sounds like you had an smashing weekend. I know the feeling going back to work after a nice long relaxing vacation.

  2. It’s bliss when everything is working perfectly.

  3. ksbeth says:

    i’m so happy you’re living the life you want to live –

  4. Jennifer says:

    Sorry, the real world beckoned to you. Or is it that the fake world?

  5. Full writer mode with a minor in fitness is spot-on in my eyes as well.
    I can tell by your posts that you’ve had a shift of sorts lately. Keep working toward your goals and go for the life you want, Austin. We’ve all got your back.

  6. Julia Weston says:

    Sounds like a perfect weekend – here’s to keeping up the fight to convert dreams to reality. Cheers!

  7. markbialczak says:

    Three cheers for when you make it happen, Austin. I know you will.

  8. rubiescorner says:

    Writing is the key. It puts one in perspective, and gives them reason to be busy. We have to have balance, and I guess the walking is your means of balance. I write, and then I might cook, or paint. Art is my relief.

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