The Colonel Sanders Temptation

Colonel Sanders, Kentucky Fried Chicken, willpower, food, fitness, diet, humor, Modern PhilosopherA very important part of my recent weight loss success,  Modern Philosophers, is willpower.

I have three huge interns named Will whose only job is to punch me as hard as they can in the face or belly any time they see me reaching for a food I shouldn’t be eating.

At first, I lost more teeth than weight, but eventually, a survival instinct kicked in, and I learned to get along without whoopie pies, ice cream, and Chinese food.

Clearly, this plan has worked because I’ve lost 36 lbs and the will to eat anything that is even remotely bad for me.

Okay, you caught me.

That whole thing about interns named Will punching me is a lie.  It’s obvious that it’s not the truth because I never take the time to get to know the interns’ names.

But willpower has truly been key to my slimming success.

I’ve basically complied a No Eat List, and I’m the only way on duty to make sure that any banned item does not board my digestive system.

It has been a very difficult fourteen weeks because the cravings come at me with such ferocity at times, and there’s no one at The House on the Hill to strap me down and keep me from running off to the store to buy the naughty foods.

I’ve had to depend on my willpower, and so far, it’s won the battle.

Colonel Sanders, Kentucky Fried Chicken, willpower, food, fitness, diet, humor, Modern PhilosopherToday, however, I was up against a military giant with decades of battlefield experience under his stylish white suit.

I’m talking about Colonel Sanders.

My coworker was talking about her visiting father-in-law’s obsession with buckets of fried chicken.

The mere mention of the Colonel’s weapon of mass destruction had my mouth watering.  Mind you, it was only nine in the morning, but already I wanted to get my hands on the stuff.  It is finger lickin’ good, after all.

Seriously, all day long, I was thinking about fried chicken.

I was sure I was going to stop on the way home and pick up a bucket.  What would be the harm?  I went for a long run this morning, and was sure to collect my usual 20,000 steps over the course of the day.

Besides, chicken is protein.  It’s good for you.

The fried outer coating merely protects the juicy, healthy meat from calories and fat, right?

There’s a KFC not far from The House on the Hill.  In fact, one could even argue that it’s on the way home, if making one right turn where I usually go left is still considered to be “on the way”.

Colonel Sanders, Kentucky Fried Chicken, willpower, food, fitness, diet, humor, Modern PhilosopherAt one point, I even negotiated myself down from a giant bucket of the Colonel’s best to a four piece fried chicken meal available at the deli of my local grocery store.

Four pieces instead of a dozen sounded like a smart, healthy choice.

Willpower in action for sure!

On the drive home, the plan was still to stop for some yummy fried chicken.  I’ve been so good for three months, and I was hungry.

I already had chicken waiting at home for me, but it wasn’t fried, didn’t come in a iconic bucket, and it had not be prepared for me by a Colonel.

One cheat night wasn’t going to ruin fourteen weeks of hard work.

When I got off the highway, the moment of truth was quickly upon me.  Did I get into the left lane, which would lead me into the Hannaford parking lot, or did I stay right?

Somehow, I stayed right.

Then decision number two presented itself only blocks later.  Make the right turn and go directly to KFC, or go left and head for the safety of The House on the Hill without collecting the bucket I craved so badly?

I went left.

Of course I did.

Was the ever a moment of doubt?

Remember my posts about being better at life and finding that extra gear?  I did both tonight.  I stayed on the righteous path and stuck with the healthy dinner that was waiting for my in the fridge.

Sure, I really wanted that fried chicken.

Colonel Sanders, Kentucky Fried Chicken, willpower, food, fitness, diet, humor, Modern PhilosopherAnd there will be a night when I give in to that craving.  Truth be told, I’ll probably succumb to the siren call of ice cream served over a whoopie pie first, but I will be sampling the Colonel’s famous recipe at some point.

Tonight, though, I am all about the willpower.  Now I need to wrap up this post because writing about fried chicken is giving me the worst cravings…

What’s a food that tests your willpower?  How do you fight the cravings?


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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18 Responses to The Colonel Sanders Temptation

  1. The problem is one cheat day CAN ruin all your hard work, because a little cheat leads to a bigger cheat, and there is ALWAYS a reason to cheat! Somebody’s birthday, a holiday, you deserve a reward, life’s too short! Or is that just me? I am struggling with weight loss issues myself right now (as you may guess). Congratulations on fighting the good fight. The Colonel is a formidable foe.

  2. Any sugar… and when stress hits, it’s hard. Sheer willpower or playing a hand held video game or reading comics…can’t get the comic collection dirty.

    I loved this post. It made me nod my head since I’ve been there, laugh at the rationalizations we all do, and cheer you on not to give in. You have a way with words!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Yum…KFC…what did you say?

  4. there is a Burger King right next door to the gym that I go to. All you can smell inside the gym is Burger King. Some kind of bullshit right there

    • Austin says:

      When Rachel was still here, we’d go to the gym, and then grab chicken wings at the wing bar at the deli three businesses down. We’d eat them right in the car in the gym parking lot. Still lost 50lbs, though, so I was doing something right. 🙂

  5. Iamlexophile says:

    Omg! You have got a great will power 😅 I’m so bad at stopping myself from eating stuff that adds fat to my body 😅 I’m not fat though, but still I feel I could be leaner 😅 Anyway would really work on making my will power as strong as you! Thanks! 😇

  6. Lutheranliar says:

    Nope! I am NOT going to tell you that there is even BETTER friend chicken two blocks from where I am writing this right now. Nope. Not. Hang in there and never ever even THINK of going to Brent’s Deli in Amagansett, NY

  7. susielindau says:

    That is so much weight, Austin! Congratulations! I bet you feel better too. I lost three pounds in Europe. I should have gained twenty! Good thing we walked 8-10 miles per day. Now I need those Wills to knock me down when I reach for a cookie.

  8. Have to admit, the KFC-being-cooked smell is wonderful. There was a major outlet across the road from a supermarket I used to shop at regularly, and the carpark always had a fantastic aroma about it. As for eating the actual KFC? For me, not a thing…

  9. Gail Kaufman says:

    You’re human after all.

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