Can The Flash Be My Wingman?

The Flash, Barry Allen, Supergirl, dating, wingman, superheroes, humor, Modern PhilosopherDo you think The Flash is available to be my wingman, Modern Philosophers?

I know he has his hands full keeping Central City safe from the big bads, but a superhero is supposed to help anyone in need, right?

Well, I need a date, and if I had The Flash as a wingman, I’d be doing a lot better with the ladies.

There’s actually a little logic and a real world situation involved in formulating that theory, so please bear with me while I explain.

I was out for a walk yesterday, not far from The House on the Hill, minding my own business and trying to collect another 20,000 steps.

I noticed the attractive young lady on the other side of the street (because my superpower is always noticing any attractive young lady in the vicinity), but didn’t think much of it since she had her earbuds in and appeared to be lost in her own little world.

I crossed the street, since it really was the direction in which I was headed, and as I approached, something interesting happened.  The young lady pulled out her earbuds, smiled at me, and said, “I really like your shirt”.

I happened to be wearing my tee shirt with the Flash logo across the front.  So either she thought I was Barry Allen out for a stroll, or she was a fan of The Fastest Man on Earth.

The Flash, Barry Allen, Supergirl, dating, wingman, superheroes, humor, Modern PhilosopherI thanked her and explained that since I’d gone on a run earlier, I had earned the right to wear the shirt.

We made small talk for a moment, and then went our separate ways.  When I mentioned this encounter on Facebook later in the day, a friend commented that she hoped I had used that opening to my advantage.

But I hadn’t.  Truth be told, I didn’t know how to turn that chance encounter with an attractive, yet total stranger into anything more than that.

Should I have invited her back to The House on the Hill to look at the rest of my tee shirts?

Maybe I should have challenged her to a race to prove I was worthy of the shirt?

Now if this had been someone I’d known, sure, I could’ve figured out a way to turn her breaking the ice into something more, but I didn’t see that as an option here.

However, if I’d had The Flash with me as my wingman, things would have been totally different.  First off, what woman would not be impressed that some guy walking the streets in Maine was pals with a superhero?

Plus, The Flash/Barry Allen is a charming, good looking dude.  If he’d vouch for me, I’m sure that would have carried a lot of weight with this woman.  Hell, I know he would’ve been smooth enough to introduce himself and me, which would’ve gotten her to tell us her name.  Right there, I’d be a lot further along with things that I’d been on my own.

The Flash might have explained that he only gives that special tee shirt to close friends, and that any close friend of his was sure to be a real catch.

Only he would have said it in a more much charming and intriguing manner.

And let’s look at the much bigger picture here, Modern Philosophers.

Why am I limiting myself to a stranger in the neighborhood?  Having The Flash as a wingman would open the door to the possibility of my dating a superhero.

The Flash, Barry Allen, Supergirl, dating, wingman, superheroes, humor, Modern PhilosopherI have absolutely zero chance of getting a date with Supergirl, my superhero crush, but Barry is buds with her.

They’ve saved the world together, and had a very special musical crossover.  Your karaoke buddy is always going to take your recommendation when it comes to dating.

Supergirl’s boyfriend had to leave Earth at the end of last season after his long lost mother tried to enslave the human race.  So we know she is single, on the rebound, and probably hoping someone she trusts would just set her up with a nice, normal guy, whose family is not going to destroy the planet.

That description is so totally me, is it not, Modern Philosophers?

The Flash could have a chat with Supergirl, get her to agree to meet me for a blind date, speed to Maine to get me, and we could be back in National City in mere minutes, before she has time to change her mind.

I don’t see how a dating situation could be any more perfect than that.  Sure, The Flash would have to do all the legwork to make it happen…like a good wingman does.

The Flash, Barry Allen, Supergirl, dating, wingman, superheroes, humor, Modern PhilosopherThen it would be on me to charm Supergirl and keep her from wanting to use her superpowers to destroy me.  I would make it my mission to become her Kryptonite, but in a sweet, romantic way.

I really have a good feeling about this idea.  When it comes to dating, my thoughts are usually all over the place.

But I am super focused on this one.  All I need to do is convince The Flash to be my wingman, and before you know it, I’ll be blogging about my whirlwind romance with Supergirl and planning the wedding of the century.

I am so lucky that woman stopped me on the street yesterday to comment on my shirt.  If she hadn’t, I’d still be totally clueless and desperately single, instead of about to marry the best looking superhero in the universe!


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Dating, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Can The Flash Be My Wingman?

  1. V Donovan says:

    Cisco Ramon has been complaining about his lack of girlfriends for three seasons now and Barry has done nothing to help his cause, so no, I don’t think he’d be a good wingman. Barry has too many things going on to really focus on it anyway.

  2. I’m not sure wanting to be your hoping for new superhero girlfriend’s Kryptonite, no matter how romantic you mean it, is the best possible use of your less than superhero powers giggle man. Just flash your pearly whites, show off your new waist line, buy an ‘I love Super Girl’ T-shirt,and let your wing man do the rest.
    Better yet you should have introduced yourself to the runner, found out if she runs this route often, and made a running encounter date for a day or two later. Then say the suggestion of coffee at a neutral joint. All you could get is a “no” or I’m taken. Beats a no go for lack of trying.
    Just saying…….writers have super powers too. The power of language.

  3. davidprosser says:

    See if she has an older friend please Austin ( a lot older).

  4. ztukx says:

    Fate goes by in a Flash. I met one of the Fates but she went by super fast with Flash. I don’t know if it was Clotho, Lachesis, or Atropos. The Devil told me it was Atropos who would determine my moment of Death unless I wanted to make a deal. He said he’d get me Supergirl in a flash in return for an Allusion to Him by a philosopher of Noble stature who was not born of woman like Julius Caesar. It was all a trick and I said, “Et tu Bruté.” He said, “Never call me Brutus on a Sunday.”

  5. BOOKWORMS says:

    wish me good luck for my first writing. like and comment on my daily series.

  6. Pingback: Can The Flash Be My Wingman? — The Return of the Modern Philosopher – Kristalin Davis' Musings on the Human Condition

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