That New Life Smell

life, humor, change, new car, Modern PhilosopherIt has been a long week of adjustments at The House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers.

The most obvious change, of course, being the loss of Miss Luna.  While I am heartbroken and feel like there is a giant hole in my heart, I also didn’t realize how much time I’d been spending taking care of her.

Obviously, I’d give anything to be able to spend countless hours looking after her again, but I’ve suddenly had to adjust my schedule because she is not here.

Cali has been the lucky recipient of all my extra attention.

But there is so much more going on in my life, and I haven’t had the time to process it because I’ve been walking around in a haze of grieving.

Someone stopped me at work today to ask me how I liked my new car, and it hit me…

I got a new car last week!

life, humor, change, new car, Modern PhilosopherI’m not used to having anything shiny and new, Modern Philosophers.

I was raised by a very frugal stepmother, and life was always about hand me downs, irregular clothes, and using something until it positively could not be used any longer.

Hell, I still squeeze every last drop of toothpaste out of a tube like it was the very last toothpaste in existence.

Look at the gorgeous interior of my shiny, new RAV4.  The steering wheel actually has all its buttons.  The speedometer works.  There’s air conditioning and a working radio!

Honestly, I am not used to such luxury.  I’ve only owned two other cars, and they were both at least a decade old when I’d bought them.  Rather than a new car smell, they reeked of sweaty mechanics and used car parts.

life, humor, change, new car, Modern PhilosopherThis past week, my thoughts have drifted all over the place, but I just realized that I never once had to worry about car stress.

For the first time in my life, I have a dependable vehicle, and I can drive virtually stress free and allow my mind to ponder for other thoughts.

It’s been amazing.  I’m so comfortable, so safe, and so spoiled.  I’ve never been able to flip on the AC on a hot summer day.  Or change the stations on the radio by pushing a button on the steering wheel.  My car has never warned me if I get too close to the next lane.  Nor has it told me exactly how many miles I have left until I need more gas.

I feel like an entirely new man on my commute.  To be honest, I mistake myself for someone’s chauffeur because the car is that awesome and I am that relaxed behind the wheel.  This is a completely foreign feeling for me, and I love it.

Have I mentioned that the car is black?  Then blue?  The color changes depending on the light and the angle at which you look at it.  Magic car!

life, humor, change, new car, Modern PhilosopherHow weird is it that I had to be reminded that I had a new car?  I still haven’t driven it anywhere other than to and from work, and I think that’s because there is still some residual driving phobia left over from my previous vehicles.

I’ve always been so afraid of my car breaking down, that I’ve never been one to just get behind the wheel and go for a drive.

I think that might change, though.  Eventually.

Let’s not get crazy and rush into things here.

life, humor, change, new car, Modern PhilosopherThe RAV4 isn’t the only positive, new change in my life.  I’m almost 50 lbs lighter than I was on April 1, and I am now capable of running 6 miles.

Plus, most of my clothes don’t fit anymore, and many of my friends are frustrated with me because I crush them at collecting steps.

It’s like I’m an entirely new person.  Sixteen percent of me has simply been sweated into non-existence.

It’s difficult to remember that I don’t look the same, and I sometimes freak out when I see my reflection.

I’m still a little nervous about testing out the new, improved me in the dating pool, but I’m slowly working up the courage to take a dip.

Change has always made me anxious, but I need to accept that change can be good.

The last adjustment I want to mention has to deal with the future. I’ve been worrying about how I’m going to pay for the car, so yesterday, I decided to take a shot in the dark and reach out to my mysterious benefactor.

Yes, Modern Philosophers, I am a big fan of Great Expectations and like to think of myself as Pip from time to time…even though, I’m probably more like Miss Havisham.

Feeling bold, I sent an email to see if there was any news about my screenplays.  To my great surprise, there has been a flurry of replies assuring me that we might be close to a deal.  And not just on one of my scripts.

life, humor, change, new car, Modern PhilosopherPossible interest in two screenplays!  Trying not to get my hopes up, but since I’m all about change lately, why not change careers to successful screenwriter?

How crazy and cool would that be, Modern Philosophers?

It would certainly be fitting given how wild my life has been lately.  Why not finally have that dream come true?

I could get used to this new life smell…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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13 Responses to That New Life Smell

  1. Marcy Elliott-Rupert says:

    Austin, I’m so sorry about Luna. Grieving is another example of one day at a time. I’m glad that you are taking care of yourself both health-wise and from a material perspective.

    A couple years ago, I lost my old friend Lucy Dog. I know exactly what you mean about the time. To this day, I occasionally start into an old routine only to realize it’s not needed anymore. And, yes, I would have given up the time until my last day to still have her with me.

  2. umashankar says:

    There seems to have been a mysterious connection with your zombie car and Miss Luna. They both gave up their respective ghosts about the same time, did they not? Perhaps Mr Lucifer might care to elucidate further on the connection. I have this feeling your new car has brought along an invisible trolly of good fortunes for you. In fact, since I’ve been reading your blog regularly of late (even though you don’t seem inclined to reciprocate) and have come to relate with some of your woes, here is something I stole from Dolly Parton for you (no, it’s not those that come to your mind first):

    Many years you have lingered around my cabin door,
    Oh hard times, come again no more…

    • Austin says:

      I am so put off by your snippy comment about how you expect reciprocation for your views of the blog.

      You really should think about what you say to other bloggers. Maybe you’re not blogging for the right reasons…

  3. stomperdad says:

    With a new you, a new car and your devlish personality, the ladies in the dating pool will dive right in to get to ya. Better wear a life jacket. I love our Rav4. A month after we got our we put 5,000 km on it driving it to the States to see my family. It was like riding on a cloud with air conditioning. Every car we had previously came with tape decks, not cd players. This one has bluetooth!

  4. davidprosser says:

    I’m hoping for the best of luck with your screenplays Austin even if it doesn’t mean a change of careers yet. I hope also you have great success when it comes to dipping a toe in the dating pool.
    Hugs.

  5. I’m sorry to hear about Miss Luna. I haven’t had a lot of free time this week other than popping in and out, but noticed you lost your cat. It’s so upsetting. I’m a few days away from the one year mark when I had to put my five year old dog Roxanne down; she had kidney failure. I know the struggle. Please accept my sincerest condolences.

    On another note, huge congratulations on the brand new car! I’m sure it’s a lovely luxury to you and it looks sharp! I’m pleased you will have a safer time on your commute to work and back. Cheers on the running milestones, too! Best, Kelsey.

  6. Please let me add my condolences about Missouri Luna. Enjoy your new car.

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