The Creatures Are Comforting

Something strange happened today, Modern Philosophers, which shouldn’t come as a surprise given that this is Maine and I seem to be a conduit for weirdness.

It was a long, stressful day at work.  It was incredibly hot, and by time I was ready to leave for The House on the Hill, I was pretty wiped.

That was when I realized that I was looking forward to the drive home.

Wait…what was that?  Could you please repeat that last line for those of us who are too stunned to go back?

I was looking forward to the drive home.

Those of you who follow this blog religiously (not that it should be a religion because that would upset the Nuns, and who knows how The Devil might react!), know that driving is a major cause of stress in my life.

Add snow to the mix, and it becomes a paralyzing phobia that has turned many a Winter into a living Hell.

life, humor, dealing with stress, mental health, new car, Modern PhilosopherI mean it’s so bad that this past year, it even inspired a regular blog feature titled 182 Days of Terror!

So for me to say I was actually looking forward to getting behind the wheel of a car is more than a bit shocking.

It’s the kind of thing that has one person nudge another, then that person nod to a third, who then runs out of the room to fetch a doctor.  Or a scientist to determine if a human has been turned into a pod person by the aliens.

Driving has always been my third least favorite part of the day after working and taking my liver and onion bath.

Like I said, it was a hot day.  Despite the heat, I still went out for walks on all my breaks.  It’s the only way to collect all the steps and drop so much weight.

As I was out there wandering aimlessly across the parking lot, sweating profusely under the unforgiving sun, begging strangers for water, and crying out for the angels to rescue me from my misery, I kept passing my new car.

I’d check out my fancy wheels and think about how nice it would be to crawl inside, crank up the air conditioning, and take a nap.

That planted the seed of my crazy idea that I was excited to drive home.

Because driving is not the same with my RAV4.  It’s such a foreign experience that I actually bring along my passport every time I drive.  Just to be safe.

life, humor, dealing with stress, mental health, new car, Modern PhilosopherThat sense of dread that used to overwhelm me when I merely started to think about the ride to work, has been vanquished.

Everything is just so damn luxurious!

When I got into the car at the end of the day, I relaxed for the first time since my morning drive.  I opened Pandora on my phone to the Foo Fighters channel, and then hit the button to play the tunes through the car’s sound system.

Then I turned on the air conditioner to chase away all traces of an 85 degree day.

Finally, I leaned back into the comfy seat, put the car in drive, and glided home on what felt like a road of feathers and pillows.  That’s how smooth and comfortable the ride is.

It made me wonder why the hell I’d denied myself these creature comforts and tortured myself with Zombie Car for all these years.

It had to be my upbringing.  My stepmother was so frugal.  We never got anything new unless it was somehow irregular.  We kept things until they just stopped working, and then, we begrudgingly spent the money on something used to replace it.

I pretty much drove Zombie Car until it would not run anymore.  All those years, freaking out in the snow when I could’ve been driving a much safer car with all wheel drive.

life, humor, dealing with stress, mental health, new car, Modern PhilosopherThis has been the story of my life.  Denying myself new and pretty things because it would be a poor use of money.  Better to save up for a rainy day…like when the car breaks down yet again.  Why did I live like that?

It has been burned into my brain to never take risks, never spend money on anything shiny and new, and never solve a problem by throwing money at it.

How obvious is it now that investing in a better car years ago would have done wonders for my mental health?  At least it’s not too late to enjoy the drive home.   The RAV4 is fun and easy  to drive even when I’m wearing my straitjacket…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The Creatures Are Comforting

  1. No you misunderstand Austin, it is not a straitjacket, it’s a loveme-jacket because you are hugging yourself when wearing it. You know, loving yourself and all sorts of fun stuff but you can’t let go.

  2. Ocean Bream says:

    A car DEFINITELY makes all the difference. I used to drive a beaten up Nissan Micra and I would have a foul temper by the time I’d finished my brothers’ school run. Now, driving my husband’s bmw, sometimes I don’t even want to get out of the car! There is a reason nicer cars are so hyped up. There is meaning behind those crazy mountain driving adverts. One can only know after they have experienced it! 🙂

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