Going Back Is Hell

short story, The Devil, flash fiction, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, back to work, humor, Modern Philosopher“Are you excited about going back to work on Tuesday?” The Devil asked, as what only could be described as a devilish grin danced across his handsome face.

As always, he was dressed in an impeccably tailored suit and looked like he belonged on the cover of a men’s fashion magazine, rather than standing in the living room of The House on the Hill.

“If I politely tell you to go to Hell, is there any chance you’d actually comply with that request?” I asked as I grabbed a Snapple out of the cooler.

The truth was, there was no way I wanted to go back to work.  My vacation has been so relaxing, so productive, and so stress free.  Why would I want to leave such a perfect world?

“Unfortunately for you, there is no way to banish me back to my home,” Lucifer informed me with a sly grin as he strolled over to the couch.  “Only I can decide when it’s time to descend into the Hellfire.  Unlike some unlucky souls, I don’t have to punch a clock.”

“This unlucky soul has the free will to punch your smug face,” I pointed out.  “Don’t you ever forget that.”

The Prince of Darkness feigned fear in an attempt to boost my spirits.  It was like being a school kid again.  Now that September had arrived, summer vacation was over and it was time to go back to school.

Oh how I wished only school awaited me on Tuesday.  Those were the days.

short story, The Devil, flash fiction, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, back to work, humor, Modern Philosopher“At least you had a great vacation,” Satan reminded me.  “You made great progress on the screenplay rewrite, wrote some of your best blog posts in a while, kept up your running game, and manage to catch up on sleep.  That’s a vacation for the ages.”

“I really did,” I had to agree.  “People don’t seem to get that a productive staycation can be even better than going away to some exotic location.”

“An exotic location where you could get sick on the food, spend a ton of money, and be even more stressed than if you had just gone to work,” The Devil concurred as he snatched a Snapple of his own out of the cooler.

“When I have a vacation like this, it confirms that my life would be so much better if I could figure out how to stay home and write all day,” I daydreamed.

“You certainly never seem to run out of ideas,” Lucifer agreed.  “If you weren’t cranking out a blog post, you were writing a short story, or you were editing your screenplay.”

“The voices in my head keep me very busy,” I said as I gently rapped on my skull.  “They never stop screaming story ideas at me.  It’s so hard to ignore them when I’m a work, and when I do, the stories back up on me and I get nasty headaches.”

The Prince of Darkness sipped his Snapple and nodded in sympathy.  “We really do need to find you a financial backer.  Have you heard anything from your producer friend about the screenplay projects?”

short story, The Devil, flash fiction, Sundays With Satan Short Story Series, back to work, humor, Modern PhilosopherThat question hit a sore spot.  I had been promised more information on possible leads for two of my screenplays, but thus far, there had been no call.

I have learned that the Hollywood game followed its own set of rules, but that didn’t make it any less frustrating.

“Nothing yet,” I sighed.  “I did send him an email this morning, though, with just enough anger and guilt added that I should get some sort of a reply.”

“Your life would really change if one of your screenplays went into production,” Satan pointed out the obvious.  “I hope everything works out this time.”

So did I because I wanted nothing more than the opportunity to write full time.  If that were the case, I’d never have to dread returning to the office after a wonderful vacation…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Going Back Is Hell

  1. eurobrat says:

    Heh. Stories about the devil are always fun.

  2. Yeah, going back to work sucks. Don’t you at least have Monday off for Labor Day though? That ought to take the sting out a little: only a four day week to live through.

  3. Phil Taylor says:

    I always enjoy Satan as a fictional character. You might enjoy the Clovenhoof series by Heide Goody and Ian Grant.

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