Miles Before Rain

running, health, fitness, rain, humor, Modern PhilosopherAlways the sports fanatic, I have come up with my very own statistical abbreviation associated with running, Modern Philosophers.

MBR, which stands for Miles Before Rain.

This exciting new statistic came into play this morning, as I contemplated how much running I could realistically get in before the powerful thunderstorms hit.

As a runner, you always want to maximize your MBR.  But on the other hand, you don’t want to waste your time and start a run if the MBR is going to be minuscule.

I know the rain isn’t going to harm me.  My stepmother had me tested as a child, and multiple geneticists concluded that I was not a witch, and, therefore, not at risk of melting should I get caught in a storm.

At the same time, I don’t want to be caught three miles from The House on the Hill when the thunder, lightning, and torrential downpour hit.

Since I’m not a witch, I cannot master the art of moving my body through deep water without sinking.  It’s a process us Muggles often refer to as “swimming”.

Last night, the Emergency Alert System twice interrupted my TV viewing to warn me of powerful and dangerous thunderstorms in the area.  They threatened 60 mph winds and hail, so I went out to the front porch and brought in the chairs.

I also closed every window in the house, even though it was 75 degrees, because I didn’t want to wake up soaked in the middle of the night because a storm had infiltrated The House on the Hill through the windows.

I just turned on the fan and hoped for the best.

running, health, fitness, rain, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhen I awakened, my phone advised that thunderstorms would roll into the area at 6:00, which is usually when I hit the road.

I got out my slide rule and began calculating MBR.  Was it worth it to go for a run, or should I sleep for another hour?

I’m proud of the fact that I haven’t skipped a run over the past five months, and that was a factor that I was able to add into the MBR equation.

The numbers, which I ran through the slide rule twice, and then verified on my abacus, revealed that if I set out a little earlier and didn’t stray too far from the safety of The House on the Hill, I should be able to get in at least 5,000 steps before getting struck by lightning.

That’s enough steps to make it worth the risk of being soaked or lit up like the Griswold home at Christmas.

Because safety always comes before steps and sweat, I even put on my reflective vest so that I would be easier to spot by rescuers should the storm blow me up into a tree or onto the roof of a neighbor’s home.

Since I didn’t want to be too far from The House on the Hill when the storm hit, I decided to make use of my back up route.  This one is a two-thirds of a mile loop around the neighborhood that never leaves me more than three blocks from home.

With all that precautions in place, my MBR looked better than ever when I put one foot in front of the other and hit the road.

3.4 miles later, there was still no storm and I had collected over 7,000 steps.  I had beaten even my best MBR calculations.

Not a single raindrop had fallen on my head, and I was thrilled that I had chosen wisely and gone for my run as planned.

Over the course of the work day, I simply threw all the numbers out the window for some reason and went for walks on my breaks even though it was raining.

running, fitness, health, rain, humor, Modern PhilosopherLike the doctors said ages ago, I’m not going to melt.

After dinner, I went for a walk in the rain.

This time, I did calculate MBR.  After all, I had created this exciting stat today and wanted to use it.

Walking after meals is a key parts of my weight loss success, so my MBR would have had to be severely negative for me to ditch my after dinner walk.

Besides, I’m working on a new writing project, and a walk in the rain always fuels the creative process.

Now I’m going to type up some notes on the story ideas that grew in my head during my walk in the rain.  Have a great night!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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2 Responses to Miles Before Rain

  1. Lutheranliar says:

    Story ideas always come on walks — rain or no rain! Glad you kept to your program. And I love MBR. Great coinage!

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