Slackers Don’t Get Selfies

running, fitness, exercise, weight loss, humor, Modern PhilosopherOn the eve of hitting the six month mark of my current fitness routine, I have come up with a new running mantra, Modern Philosophers:

Slackers don’t get selfies.

The interns are already putting it on tee shirts and adding the hashtag to everything they post online, so it should be trending nationally by the end of the weekend.

If this mantra doesn’t make sense, it could be because I came up with it after this morning’s 6.4 mile run.

I was exhausted, dehydrated, delusional, and not thinking straight.  Just like on my wedding day, only with less sweat.

However, I believe this mantra will survive ’til death do us part.

As you might have picked up on by now, I like to take selfies after my runs.  No, it’s not because I’m a narcissist, nor is it because I’m putting together a portfolio for a potential career as a runners’ magazine cover model.

I click those pics to hold myself accountable.

You see, I don’t have a significant other to motivate me, hound me, or push me out the door every morning to exercise.

The interns are never at The House on the Hill that early in the morning, so I am on my own to make sure I’m on the road before sunrise to get in my miles before work.

running, fitness, exercise, weight loss, humor, Modern PhilosopherPosting those selfies on Facebook is my way of telling the world that I got my running in for the day.  The hope being that if I stopped putting up those silly, sweaty photos five days a week, someone might notice and call me on it.

In the six months I’ve been reshaping my body from “Enormous, Lazy, Fat Guy” into “Someone Much More Physically Fit, But Not Quite There Yet”, I have never failed to meet my weekly running goal.

It was three days a week at first, but it has since grown to five.

I almost blew it this week, though, which would have really sucked given that I hit the six month mark tomorrow, and am due to earn a gold star.

It was unseasonably hot and humid to begin the week, with temperatures in the 90s.  I didn’t feel well and I couldn’t sleep.  I just didn’t have it in me to get up on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday morning to run, so the streak was in big time jeopardy.

Trust me, Modern Philosophers, as sick and exhausted as I was, I still understood that no one else really cared if I didn’t run five days this week.

This was all about personal pride, dedication to becoming a better version of me, and, of course, my love of taking selfies.

Slackers don’t get selfies.

I might not have actually come up with that winning mantra until this morning, but it was already knocking around in my big brain.

It meant something to me to not fall short.  My personal fitness has become a priority.  I didn’t want to start a trend that could bleed over into next week.

running, fitness, exercise, weight loss, humor, Modern PhilosopherSo even though I worked nine hours on Wednesday, as soon as I returned to The House on the Hill, I changed into my running clothes and hit the road.

I’d finally gotten a good night’s sleep, and while the temperature was still in the 80s, there was a slight breeze to make it feel cooler.

It wasn’t the best run of my life, but damn, did I need it.  Just being out there, working up a sweat, and pounding the pavement provided a giant boost to my wounded psyche.

As much as I hate running, I had missed it, and I’m sure my lack of physical activity during the start of the week had contributed to my overall sense of malaise.

I ran on Thursday morning as usual.  A predawn run after a night one is always a little rough, but nothing was going to stop me.  I was on a roll, my Fitbit was starved for steps, and I needed to take that selfie.

Of course, I was still a day short.  I never run on Friday because I absolutely must rest up for the longer runs I do on the weekend.

If I added a Friday run, it would mean running five days in a row, which is something I try to avoid.  Not that I can’t handle it, but because I don’t want to risk getting hurt and setting back my fitness program by several weeks.

Again, no one else would have known or cared if I’d slept in on Friday and only run four times this week.

I would’ve known, though.

Slackers don’t get selfies.

running, fitness, exercise, weight loss, humor, Modern PhilosopherSo I woke up early on Friday and went for a run well before the sun was even awake.

I had to wear my sexy safety vest because it was so dark, but I didn’t mid.

Because that vest looks damn good in a selfie!

After my Friday run, I was back on schedule for hitting this week’s goal.  Even though I didn’t get my regularly scheduled day off, I was still out there again today adding 6.4 miles to my total.

Six months in, and I’m still kicking butt.  I always worry that my hatred of running will catch up with me and send me back to the couch, but this week proved that I’m still very focused on fitness.

The moral of this post, Modern Philosophers, is that no one other than you is going to make sure that you hit your fitness goals.

You must be your biggest advocate, push yourself on days when you’d much rather do anything but exercise, and find creative ways to inspire hard work.

And always make sure to smile when you take that selfie…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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12 Responses to Slackers Don’t Get Selfies

  1. Ashana M says:

    I have a friend who does the same thing for the same reasons. Makes a lot of sense to me.

  2. I post on to keep myself honest.

  3. Lori says:

    Love your new running mantra!

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