The Great Halloween Blackout

Halloween, blackout, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherDo I have a wild and scary Halloween story for you, Modern Philosophers!

You might have thought it strange that I would vanish and the blog would go dark during my favorite holiday, but Mother Nature left me no choice!

And it wasn’t only the blog that went dark.

Maine was plunged into darkness early Monday morning, as on the Eve of All Hallows Eve, a powerful storm ripped a path of absolute destruction across the state.

I drove to work on Monday morning in what could be best described as apocalyptic weather conditions.  The winds were so strong that I could feel the RAV4 shaking from its wrath.  The roads were quickly flooded because the rain was falling too hard and too fast for the drains to handle.

As I drove over the bridge connecting my town with Stephen King’s, I was passed by a mighty ark packed with animals.  The pair of lions at the back of the vessel gave me the finger because they apparently felt I was driving too slowly in a vehicle I was sure would not operate well should it skid off the bridge and into the river below.

I knew I had more than pissed off kings of the jungle to contend with when I arrived at the office to find one of the supervisors trying to find a way to wedge the door open.  She explained that power was out in parts of the building, and the badge reader was down, which meant no one arriving to work would be able to get in out of the storm.

I was able to clock in, but two minutes later, all the power went out.  The storm worsened and new arrivals told tales of fallen trees and snapped power lines swinging in the breeze.

I helped a coworker collect the handicap parking signs from the parking lot.  Even though they had concrete bases, the wind was tossing them around like rag dolls.

When I got home, I discovered a piece of siding had blown off the roof.  There were branches strewn all over the property, but no trees had demolished The House on the Hill.

And there was no power.

Halloween, blackout, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherI had no way to make dinner, but my neighbor Janine had just ordered pizza.  She called to add a pie to the order for me.

I ate my pepperoni pizza by candlelight, just like the Colonists did back on their first Halloween in America.

Since there was nothing but absolute darkness in my immediate future, I went to bed at 7:15.  Like I was a first grader.

Halloween morning, there was still no power and work was delayed until noon.  I went for a long run to get in my steps, give my bored mind something to do, and assess the damage.

My running route was a pine tree graveyard.  I passed numerous fallen trees.  My path was a carpet of pine needles and pine cones.

Then I turned down a street and came upon this sight…

Halloween, blackout, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherNow I’m no electrician, but I bet that tree could be a cause of the power outage.

I had hoped power would be restored by time I left for work, but that was not the case.  Our building was also without power, so my coworkers and I were dispersed to various offices in the company that had electricity.

As a result, the Halloween party I’d planned was simply forgotten.  No one could cook or bake, so the potluck would have been a disaster.

I did still wear a costume to work, but I kept it very simple.

Halloween, blackout, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherCan you guess who I am supposed to be?

I’ll give you a hint…

Modern Philosophers! (knock, knock, knock)

Modern Philosophers! (knock, knock, knock)

Modern Philosophers! (knock, knock, knock)

BAZINGA!  I’m Sheldon Cooper.

Well, even the brilliant Dr. Cooper couldn’t figure out how to bring back power to Maine.

The electric company (the power company, not the old PBS show) announced that they hoped to have the lights back on by 10PM on Friday.

WTF?  Why so long?  Were they waiting for a part that wouldn’t be delivered until 9PM on Friday?  I know Maine is the boonies of America, but why would it take that long to make my microwave work again?

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home since everything in my fridge would have to be tossed.  The store had no power.  Ever hear of a generator, biggest source of food in town?  The workers were throwing out all the food in the frozen section.

I had to settle for a loaf of bread and a bag of chips.

Halloween, blackout, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherI had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Halloween dinner.  There were no trick of treaters since the police had urged parents to keep the kids home due to the blackout.

I threw out all the food in the fridge, read a book by candlelight, and then went to bed at 8:30.  Happy Halloween!

I woke up on All Saints’ Day to discover that power had been restored!

Hallelujah!

Of course, the irony wasn’t lost on me.  Complete darkness for the scariest night of the year, and the light of salvation on the holy day of obligation.

Clearly, God and The Devil were entangled in another power struggle.

I cranked the heat because the temperature had plummeted overnight and The House on the Hill was an icebox.

I went for a run and took a long, hot shower since I hat hot water again.

Then I ate dry cereal for breakfast because I had thrown out all my milk.

Halloween, blackout, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherBut on the way home from work, I picked up some supplies.

The grocery store wasn’t fully stocked, but I got one of the last gallons of milk along with some chicken and mac and cheese for dinner.

It was so delicious.

Now I can’t wait to watch TV in a living room illuminated by light bulbs, rather than candles, while I have a big glass of cold milk and some leftover Halloween candy.

I realized I’m not really into nineteenth century living.

I went for a walk after dinner, and it was nice to be outside at night in something other than total darkness for a change.

I’m pretty sure that cavemen died off because they got bored to death living in the dark for twelve hours a day.

I was a very weird Halloween, and for once, I’m glad that holiday is behind us!

How was your Halloween?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to The Great Halloween Blackout

  1. JT Twissel says:

    We got a knock on the door at 10 pm. Outside were two men who informed us that there was a sewage emergency down the hill from us. Turned out to be a false alarm. No raw sewage flowing through the streets.

  2. adamjasonp says:

    My Halloween was also in the dark. Many outages in the state.

  3. stomperdad says:

    We got that wind and rain over here in NS. Fortunately, it didn’t put us in darkness and trick-or-treating when off without a hitch. Glad you finally got your power back!

  4. Pingback: Adventures in Dating: The Street Pie Incident | The Return of the Modern Philosopher

  5. floridaborne says:

    I know about the 7pm sleep time and how lost one feels when the electricity dies. On 9/11, Hurricane Irma hit our area of Florida. We lost electricity for 3 days, but we were among the lucky ones. Some people didn’t get their electricity back on for 2 weeks.

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