As always, my Sunday guest wore an impeccably tailored suit, which I was certain cost more than my take home pay for the month.
“Luckily, my FitBit and smartphone had my back and adjusted themselves. For once, I was a fan of technology taking control,” I quipped.
“Before long, The Machines will run everything,” Lucifer announced quite ominously to mess with my head.
I ignored his evil intentions, and instead, reached for a Snapple out of the cooler.
“Once I got out of bed, I realized there were only two clocks in the house that needed adjusting,” I explained. “The alarm clock on my nightstand, which I never use anymore because my phone has an alarm, and the one on the microwave.”
“Remember when there used to be clocks in every room of a house?” The Prince of Darkness asked with a heavy sigh of reminiscence. “The times, they are a changing.”
“You’re not going to start singing or continue to make horrible time puns, are you?” I demanded like someone not in the mood for such nonsense.
“Of course not,” Satan answered with a devilish grin that made me doubt the sincerity of his reply. “It’s clear that this Daylight Savings debacle has you in quite a mood.”
“I hate messing with time,” I stated quite emphatically for the record. “Unless, of course, we’re talking about time travel.”
“That’s a given,” The Devil agreed as he grabbed a Snapple for himself.
“Winter is already a miserable and difficult time,” I said as I channeled my inner Captain Obvious. “So why pile on by making it pitch black at four o’clock? There’s nothing more fun than driving home from work on snowy, icy roads in absolute darkness.”
“It’s an archaic practice that dates back to a time when Americans needed more daylight to harvest the crops,” Lucifer proved that he had once paid attention in History class. “The Republicans can’t repeal Obamacare, so don’t hold your breath expecting them to get rid of Daylight Savings Time.”
I laughed. There was always time to poke fun at President Trump and the Republican Party, even when we were messing with the clocks.
“If I’m looking for the silver lining in all this, I could say at least I had power today to make turning back the clock on the microwave possible,” I offered with a smile.
“It was a dark time. A lonely time,” I told him. “Silver lining, though, it left me five bags of candy to eat myself.”
“And now you have an extra hour today to eat what still remains,” Satan reminded me.
He made an excellent point. Turning back the clocks was kind of tolerable as long as I could stuff my face with leftover blackout Halloween candy…