The Windblown Ice Balls of Bitter Change

Maine, bitterly cold, winter, humor, Modern PhilosopherThe subtitle for this post, Modern Philosophers, is:

Holy $%^&, It’s Cold!

Maine doesn’t really mess around much with Autumn.  Summer slowly dies off, the leaves change color, and the air gets chilly enough to force you to wear a hoodie when you’re outside tossing around the football.

Then the temperature plummets, the winds howl, and the first blizzard of the year carpet bombs the state with little or no warning.

Last week was something like Fall.

This morning, however, the first snow of the season reminded us that the only time Mainers really use the term “Fall” in November is when it follows “Snow”.

When I woke up, it was 40 degrees and there was no precipitation.  By the time I got into the shower, rain was pounding against the bathroom window like it was desperate to get inside The House on the Hill.

Fifteen minutes later, I found out why the rain was acting that way.

It was snowing.

In about half an hour, the weather had changed that drastically.

Luckily, I was prepared to take on the snow with my new RAV4.  After a decade and a half of trying to drive through snowy winters in Zombie Car, I finally had a vehicle designed to deal with this kind of weather.

Maine, bitterly cold, winter, humor, Modern PhilosopherThe drive to work was a delight.  The snow wasn’t sticking, but I felt safe and confident with my four wheel drive.  Zombie Car didn’t have a working defroster on the rear window, but the RAV4 has that feature plus a back wiper.

I had the heat blasting and the wipers going on both ends of the car.  And the heat was definitely needed.

The wind was gusting over 40 mph and the temperature dropped into the mid-twenties.

With the windchill, it felt like the low teens.  I’m pretty sure my face froze on my afternoon walk.

Now I get why they refer to it as “bitterly cold”…

The weather made me feel bitter about living in Maine.  Not only was it ridiculously cold, but the high winds also made things stressful.

We’re less than two weeks removed from the Great Halloween Blackout, which was caused by high winds and torrential rain, so we were all worried about losing power again and having to get through the frigid night without any heat.

Thankfully, as of this writing, the power is fine, nothing has blown off or fallen onto The House on the Hill, and Cali and I are curled up on the couch with the heat basting.

As for the ice balls mentioned in the title of the post…

Well, Modern Philosophers, those were in my shorts the last two mornings during my runs.  Wednesday, it was 29 degrees when I left the house.  Yesterday, it was 21.

Maine, bitterly cold, winter, humor, Modern PhilosopherPraise Zeus that Friday is my rest day because I would’ve been battling arctic blasts and snow had I run before work.

As you can see from the photographic evidence gathered after yesterday’s run, I was not at all impressed with the weather.

Can you see how the cars parked on the street are covered in frost?

I was dealing with the same conditions down under, and I’m not talking about Australia.

All I can say is that I definitely run faster when it’s this cold.  It has nothing to do with better conditioning and having seven months of running under my belt.

The increase of speed is simply a matter of survival.

As I sit here with my purring kitty while the winter wind relentlessly rattles the windows of The House on the Hill, I can’t help but appreciate how soothing it is to know there’s no reason for me to get up off this cozy couch, that there’s a ton of great shows on the DVR waiting to be watched, and a whoopie pie in the kitchen with my name on it.

I survived the first bitterly cold snowfall of the season, and now it’s time to let the ice balls thaw and do absolutely nothing strenuous to celebrate.

It’s a long winter, after all, and I really need to pace myself before I shatter something valuable…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The Windblown Ice Balls of Bitter Change

  1. grannyK says:

    I know very little about the rules of running, but a friend of mine who runs said it’s dangerous to run when it is below freezing. Is that true? Something about breathing too much frigid air into the lungs. Just curious on your knowledge of this!

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