Free Food Always Helps

humor, comfort food, coping with stress, Monday, Modern PhilosopherI don’t know what day of the week it is where you are, Modern Philosophers, but it is definitely Monday here.

And it wasn’t one of those good Mondays, either.

If those mythical creatures even exist.

It was 20 degrees and gloomy when I left The House on the Hill.  Conditions at work weren’t much better.

I mean, it was definitely warmer since we have heat and all, but there was a definite gloom in the air.

The low morale probably had something to do with the mandatory meeting scheduled for 12:30, during which suspiciously perky members of the HR Staff were going to tell us all about the new, much more expensive health insurance plans for 2018.

Luckily, my pal Original Goat Girl (OGG) got herself pregnant a few months ago, causing her friends and family to throw her a baby shower yesterday.

OGG and Baby Vlad got a ton of nice gifts, but the best part (and I define “best” by how a situation affects me), was that there were leftovers.  Lots and lots of leftovers.

And OGG brought those leftovers to work to feed the starving, gloomy masses yearning to be distracted by comfort food.

Here’s what was left of the spread about twenty minutes after it was put out on the table…

Yes, I’m well ware the photo is extremely blurry.  That’s what happens when I try to focus while also shoveling food into my face hole.

I sent out an email that there was free food.  Two minutes later, there was a line of coworkers snaking through the office, with the leftover spread as the ultimate destination.

I’ve never seen my coworkers move so quickly.

And on a Monday no less.

Free food clearly has magical powers.

It can levitate morale.

Turn frowns upside down.

And even make you forget, perhaps only until the food digests, that your wallet is going to take a big hit in the coming year if you want to have medical coverage.

The food was delicious.

The dictionary definition of “comfort food”.

I spent the afternoon pestering OGG to bring in the leftover cake tomorrow.  Not for me, of course, but for my coworkers.

I just want them to be happy.

humor, comfort food, coping with stress, Monday, Modern PhilosopherAnd to understand, if only for a few minutes, that you can have your cake and eat it, too.

But if eating it leads to the onset of Diabetes, you’d better get your medications before the end of the year.  You know, because those prescription co-pays are going up in 2018.

Hope you all had a decent Monday.  If not, maybe try the free food option next week.  It definitely works!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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3 Responses to Free Food Always Helps

  1. Very funny post! On a more serious note,… speaking of food…. here is a great idea for the holidays that you might be interested in. If so, please share it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hidlnk1NC10

  2. The free food thing might not work in June. Post-Hallowe’en though, through say Easter or spring equinox, whatever you open or close the dark months with, we’re all looking for free food. Hope Tuesday lightens up.

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