The Hunt For Santa’s Buried Treasure

Christmas, Merry Christmas, presents from Santa, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherMerry Christmas, Modern Philosophers!

As has become a Christmas tradition at The House on the Hill, I awakened to discover no presents waiting for me.

I’ve gotten used to this scenario over the years, but it doesn’t make it sting any less.  After all, it is Christmas, and it’s nice to have something to open on the holiday.

This year, things were a little different, though, in that there was a blizzard blasting Maine with snow and making it a White Christmas.  As I watched the near whiteout conditions from the living room, a thought hit me..

What if Santa Claus had accidentally left my presents in the driveway, and they were now buried under all that snow?

It made perfect sense.  I’d been really good this year, so the odds of my being on the Naughty List were slim to none.

I’d written several letters to Santa making him aware of what I wanted, and giving him clear directions to The House on the Hill.

There was no way he could have forgotten me this year.

Obviously, my presents were out there and I needed to rescue them from the storm’s wrath!  And from the looks of things, I had to begin my treasure hunt immediately.

So I charged up the stairs with the same excitement I used to have when charging down the stairs as a kid on Christmas morning.

Christmas, Merry Christmas, presents from Santa, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherI got dressed, grabbed my shovel, and because this was an important, historical excavation, I added my Santa hat to make the moment special.

I felt like Indiana Jones, only this time, the unearthed treasure would not need to be turned over to a museum for all to enjoy.

Santa’s Lost Treasure would be mine.

All mine!

All I had to do was find it.

I shoveled like my belief in the magic of Christmas and the existence of Santa Claus depended on it.

The snow was coming down pretty hard, but I didn’t let that stop me.

This was going to be the first Christmas in a very long time that I was actually going to have presents to open.

Come to think of it, I truly can’t recall the last time I had anything waiting for me, other than a broken heart and crushed dreams on December 25.

Every time my shovel hit blacktop, rather than pay dirt, I moved to a new section of the driveway.  The presents were there, but without the proper equipment to search beneath all that snow, I was digging blind.

Christmas, Merry Christmas, presents from Santa, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherFinally, about an hour later, the driveway and the backyard were clear of snow.

And I was still without presents.

My nose was frozen and my cheeks were as red as Santa’s suit.

If Santa actually existed.

To make matters worse, as if there’s anything worse than being alone and without presents on Christmas, the storm picked up in ferocity.  While I wanted to continue to dig, moving next to the front lawn, and then on to the neighbors’ property if necessary, conditions were approaching a dangerous level.

I was going to have to abandon the Hunt for Santa’s Buried Treasure.

Not because I had stopped believing it was out there.

But because I couldn’t risk losing some fingers and toes to prove my faith in Christmas, Santa Claus, and the idea that there is a reward for those who are good all year.

I radioed back to base camp that I was on my way home.

Of course, no one answered.

Christmas, Merry Christmas, presents from Santa, Maine, humor, Modern PhilosopherIt’s Christmas, so there’s no one there.

Maybe after the storm subsides tonight, I’ll bundle up again, grab my shovel, and try to renew my belief in the magic of Christmas.

Or I might just face the reality that Christmas is not a holiday for everyone.

And I remember myself mumbling, as I took off my gear, This Christmas sucked, but there’s always next year…

Merry Christmas!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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12 Responses to The Hunt For Santa’s Buried Treasure

  1. ksbeth says:

    yes, and here’s to the future )

  2. Merry Christmas, Austin. As my Christmas present, my kids let me sleep in till 8, and then played board games with minimal snarling at each other. A good day! I’m sure your neighbors were grateful you shoveled their yard. Heh heh.

  3. D. Parker says:

    Merry Christmas, Austin and to a wonder-filled 2018! 🎄🎄🎄

  4. Holly says:

    Another one waking up to no presents this holiday. Here’s to next year, for sure! I got bored and am now at a Panda Express, wasting time and orange chicken. This is NOT what I had planned, which dwelling on that makes me sad, but I can be grateful it’s not snowing…yet.

  5. davidprosser says:

    Maybe New Year will be kinder Austin. I hope so.

  6. Fun trick if you find yourself alone next year..
    1.Get roaring drunk
    2. Go on or amazon and order random, bizarre gifts for yourself.
    3. Wrap them up in the box without peeking.
    4. Christmas morning. Surprise!

    Ps. The credit card bill is the after Christmas surprise. 😨
    😉Hope the rest of your Holidays are great!

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