Halfway Through The Days Of Terror

humor, life, Maine, winter, Modern PhilosopherI hope the title of this post didn’t mislead some of you, Modern Philosophers.

Unfortunately, we are not at the midway point of President Trump’s term.  I’m sorry if I got your hopes up, but we still have a lot of suffering left to do on that front.

What I am talking about, though, is winter in Maine.  I affectionately refer to the six months from October 1 – March 31 as the 182 Days of Terror, and today is Day 91.

We are an unlucky thirteen weeks in, and have thirteen more left to survive.

As the great Modern Philosopher Bon Jovi put it..

Whoa, we’re halfway there
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer
Take my hand, we’ll make it I swear
Whoa, livin’ on a prayer…

Bon Jovi was being very optimistic in swearing that we would make it through the 182 Days of Terror, but I guess he had a hunch.

Of course, he was dealing with winter in New Jersey, which isn’t quite as harsh as the one I suffer through annually in Maine.  Then again, life in New Jersey is pretty rough, no matter what season it is.

The interns decided to celebrate the halfway point by burning an effigy of Snow Miser on The Great Lawn of The House on the Hill.  Now two of them are complaining of frostbite because they were stupid enough to go outside when it was seven degrees below zero.

Interns…am I right?

Even though I’m dealing with a very rough patch of insanely cold weather right now, my heart is warmed slightly by the knowledge that we are halfway through the worst thing about living in Maine.

humor, life, Maine, winter, Modern PhilosopherYes, Maine winters are even worse than the dating scene.  I’ve managed to get a few dates over the years, but I have not once been able to skip a winter.

Looking back over the first 91 days, I will say that things have been less stressful due to my having replaced Zombie Care with the RAV4.

Driving in snow has not been the traumatic experience it once was, and that is a major relief.  As a result, my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder has not flared up as often.  This is awesome news since I’m not sure I can afford both my meds and my car payments.

So hang in there, Modern Philosophers.  Before you know it, baseball season will be upon us again.  The sun will return.  We’ll see the grass for the first time in ages.  The penguins will go back to the North Pole.  Snow Miser will vanish to the other side of the globe.

Of course, we’ll still have to deal with President Trump, but at least we’ll be a lot warmer while suffering through that nightmare!  Plus, it’s a lot easier to handle one catastrophe at a time…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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1 Response to Halfway Through The Days Of Terror

  1. ksbeth says:

    there we go, the positives are on their way )

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