I’m Ready To Give Up On People

philosophy, psychology, human behavior, humor, Modern PhilosopherI have famously been described as a “quirky, reclusive introvert“, and that was by me in my yet to be published autobiography, Modern Philosophers.

The thing is, I used to think my desire to hide out from the world and be left alone was some tragic flaw in my wiring.  A bug that my creators never managed to work out before they put me on the market.

Now, however, I’ve come to the realization that my desire to lock myself in The House on the Hill’s basement bunker is a survival mechanism, rather than a paralyzing accumulation of phobias and anti-social hankerings.

In other words, I was normal until the world made me this way.

I’m well aware that I used to be a miserable person.  I’d be a fool to say I’ve completely shed this persona, but I’ve definitely been on a more positive path lately.

Maybe talking to that therapist after breaking up with The Sweet Irish Girl was a good thing.  Perhaps I’ve finally accepted that you get more with honey than you do by bitching about everything and doing absolutely nothing to change the things that drive you mad.

Whatever it is, my newfound view on life, be it through rose colored glasses, or simply through eyes that are no longer blind from rage and self-pity, has made me aware that the world around me is toxic.

Thank goodness I had the interns buy me a gas mask…

philosophy, psychology, human behavior, humor, Modern PhilosopherIt might seem like I’m rambling, but there really is a point somewhere in all these words.

I’m just having a problem focusing because I want to be purposely vague so as not to set off another firestorm of rage, hate, and confusion that is sure to drive me even deeper into the basement bunker.

This week was such a positive one until it wasn’t.

I finally found something that made me happy, gave me a sense of purpose, and put a little pep in my step when I got out of bed in the morning.

But as any Modern Philosopher worth his toga can tell you, the good exists only in a very delicate balance with the bad.

When life is good, one must always be prepared for the dark clouds to roll in so that balance can be restored.  Whenever there is light, people will be inclined to piss on the flame until the world is plunged into total darkness accompanied by a pungent stench.

philosophy, psychology, human behavior, humor, Modern PhilosopherWhy is it that people don’t like to see others be happy?  Are we threatened when we see someone acting unselfishly to spread kindness?  Is it in our DNA to crush dreams, snuff out hope, and demean until the human spirit it broken?

Is there a secret society whose only mission is to make sure life sucks and then you die?

These are the sort of questions I have the time to contemplate when I’m all alone in my bunker, safe from inevitable attack from a world gone made with pessimism.

Could it be because we’ve been saddled with a President who says only the worst things that come to mind, and secretly wants us all to believe we are from shit hole countries because his happiness depends on the demoralization of others?

All I know for sure right now is I’m ready to give up on people.  I don’t mean to offend any of you, Modern Philosophers, but the only time I can really control the flow of positive vibes, and keep the negativity from crashing the party is by removing myself from the human interaction equation.

Loneliness might ensure sanity.

philosophy, psychology, human behavior, humor, Modern PhilosopherAt the very least, it allows me to pass the day without cringing, rolling my eyes, feeling my stomach lurch, or dreading the fact that I ever crawled out from under the covers.

No man is an island.  Then again, what island ever loses sleep tossing and turning as it recounts the events of the day?

Sometimes I fantasize about playing hide and seek, but never coming out from my perfect hiding spot.  It’s not the basement bunker, so don’t come looking for me there.

I want to make the world a better place, but there are times it feels like there are 7.6 billion people out there fighting to keep me from succeeding in that quest.

So rather than tilt at windmills, I will vent in blog posts and then concentrate on making sure the walls are soundproof and high enough to keep out the threats to my happiness.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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19 Responses to I’m Ready To Give Up On People

  1. ksbeth says:

    don’t give up yet

  2. Calu says:

    Please hang in there, Austin; you are one of the few people who help keep the rest of us sane with your humorous observations on the human condition. And I think it is perfectly natural for any intelligent individual to want to hide away from the world occasionally. Reality can be way too overwhelming at times, so it’s basically just self defense.

  3. Catherine says:

    Look. Ever since that idiot was elected president, my life has changed. I used to be very positive and hopeful and generally happy. Now–I’m miserable, full of hopelessness, am completely negative about the future of mankind and just about to give up on life. I’m serious. I have issues.
    And yesterday was almost the straw that broke the camel’s back. I posted a recent blogpost about the vile “shithole” term that moron in the whitehouse used. I posted this on a “womens” FB site. Wouldn’t you know that my post was taken off because it “offended” a couple of readers. I’m now convinced that women love to be victimized, are overly sensitive and only want to read about the deeply shallow and nothing political.
    But–I TRY, and try is the word. I try to have hope. I try to be positive and I try to be happy. But one thing I will never lose is my sense of humor. So don’t give up. And if you do–keep laughing!

  4. grannyK says:

    I have a spot I sometimes dream about hiding in, too. Just get comfy in my hiding place and let the world go by. But, in the end, I get up and keep going. I hope you will do the same! One thing for certain is that life is ever-changing. Maybe something good is just around the corner!

  5. I understand. I’d rather binge watch Netflix than watch the news or go to a bar, but just remember while your life might hold still, time will not. Seclusion at home should be thought of as staying in the hospital; it’s fine until you are well, but sooner or later you’ll have to get on with life.

  6. MindOverMeta says:

    I hear you, Austin. I think I need to stop reading so much news because it only serves to depress me. Sometimes I fantasize about finding somewhere remote to live, away from people. The irony is, I work with people therapeutically as part of my job. Maybe that’s why I want a break from them :/

    • Austin says:

      I really like working on the Wellness program at work and helping my workers improve their fitness. Unfortunately, these are not the only people I encounter over the course of my day…

  7. Lori says:

    As a quirky, reclusive introvert, I feel your pain. Use your time in your basement bunker to recharge your batteries so to speak so you can go back out there. Try to let the negative stuff roll off your back, especially the crap you can’t do anything about. It’s an ugly world out there. Most of all, don’t give up.

  8. I felt really sad reading your post Austin because I can totally relate. Everyone starts as a blank canvas and over time you’re gradually worn down until being on your own is better than being around other people. But, when things are down the only way for them to go is up… Look after yourself (loving the running updates) and get out there when you feel you can

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