Suffice it to say I had a minor meltdown during my lunchtime walk, finally letting out a huge chunk of the stress that has been building up inside me over the past couple of months.
I don’t want to focus on what has been bothering me, though, as I am using writing as a coping skill right now to chase away the dark clouds and remain positive.
Sure, I’m about this close to locking myself inside the basement bunker until I’m certain all the bad vibes have vanished, but I haven’t done so yet.
That’s because, despite all the stress bombs exploding in my general vicinity, there is hope.
For the past week, a story idea has been simmering in my brain.
Not just any idea, mind you, but The Big Idea. The kind of light bulb that goes off inside your head and explodes because it’s so damn bright.
My brain has gifted me with the earth shattering idea that has awakened the writer within, Modern Philosophers.
Because of this, I am truly excited.
It has been too long since I’ve dedicated a sufficient amount of time to writing. You might have noticed that the number of blog posts I’ve published has dropped significantly over the past few months.
I’ve been too tired to write.
The creative juices have not been flowing.
I’ve had no desire.
I’ve lost time because I’ve drifted off doing a mental outline of this new idea.
I walk around with new ideas constantly forming in my head. I actually have butterflies in my stomach because I just know this could be the story I’ve been waiting my entire life to write.
You get what I mean by that, right? Don’t you just know when something is special?
For me, I can tell this idea is a winner because I wake up to it dancing in my brain every morning. It’s there when I’m on my runs. When I have a rare, free moment at work, the story is demanding my attention.
Plus, I’ve been working to expand the mental outline. As I’ve made clear, I never outline. An idea forms, I let it grow just enough so I can see that it has the potential to evolve from the idea stage into a full screenplay or story. Then I just dive in and start writing.
This one…it’s different.
I can tell this is going to be huge. I want to outline to see where it takes me.
Every time I think I’m ready to write, another idea forms and is added to the ever expanding outline.
I’ve decided to turn this into a novel, rather than a screenplay.
The timing couldn’t be more perfect. I need a distraction. I need to get lost in a project so large that I don’t have time to stress.
Most importantly, I need to be a writer again. The life I’m living…that of a brain dead desk jockey…it’s not the real me. It’s a charade. A necessary evil to pay the bills.
I need to feed my passion.
I’ve ignored it for far too long, and I’ve turned into a worse person for it.
I pray to the Fates and I implore my Muse to watch over me, to inspire me, and to keep the creative fire burning.
This is the idea I’ve been hoping my brain would conjure up to break the spell that has left me so disenchanted with life.
Don’t ask me why.
Never question the Creative Force.
Just pray it remains forever burning inside you.
The writer has awakened. Hopefully, I will be able to do justice to the idea that has brought him out of his eternal slumber…