Tom Brady Can’t Catch

Tom Brady is many things, Modern Philosophers.

He is a five time Super Bowl champion.

He is the NFL’s reigning Most Valuable Player.

He is the holder of numerous Super Bowl records.

He is the husband of a supermodel.

What he is not, however, is a receiver, as evidenced yesterday in Super Bowl 52.

The Patriots ran a trick play, which left Brady all alone down the right sideline.  The ball was thrown to him, but St. Tom, Patron Saint of New England Football, could not come down with the catch.

To be fair, Brady is the quarterback.  His job is to throw passes, not to catch them.  He’s also getting up there in years, so running, raising his arms, and trying to pick up the ball with his ancient eyes, all at the same time, was probably just too much to ask of him.

But to make matters worse, Eagles quarterback Nick Foles, proved to the world that not all signal callers have butter fingers.

Shortly before halftime, on fourth down no less, the Eagles ran a trick play of their own.  Foles was left all alone in the end zone, and when the pigskin was thrown to him, he caught it.

For a touchdown.

Thereby becoming the first QB in Super Bowl history to catch a TD pass.

So there goes Brady’s excuse that no quarterbacks can catch.

We all know I am a Jets fan, so I’ll never have to worry about my team’s QB dropping a pass in the Super Bowl because the Jets will never play in the big game.

Because I love the Jets, I naturally hate the Pats.

So I was loving it when Tommy Boy showed off his butter fingers.

I loved it even more when St. Nick, Philly’s new version of Santa Claus, pulled down the touchdown catch to extend the Eagles’ lead.

And make Brady look even worse.

I immediately shot off a text to my good friend Kori, aka “Killer”, who is a diehard Patriots fan.  It read something like: So Philly’s QB knows how to catch, but your boy doesn’t?

Sure it was obnoxious, especially when my team didn’t even make the playoffs, but she would have been disappointed if I’d let the moment pass without a comment.

I expected a barrage of curses to be hurled back in my general direction by my beautiful, ex-cheerleader, grade school teacher friend, but all she could muster was: Yea, yea, yea.

I felt her pain, Modern Philosophers.

It’s how I would’ve felt had one of my beloved Yankees done something embarrassing in the World Series.

She probably felt worse than Tom Brady did, but then again, she didn’t let down millions of fan and screw up in front of millions of viewers on live television.

But nobody’s perfect.  We all make mistakes at the worst moments.

I’m sure Tom Brady will get over it, though, with the help of his gorgeous wife, adoring family, huge bank account, and five Super Bowl rings.

And maybe in his down time, he can learn how to catch…